MY LONGTIME CRUSH

Chapter 11

(Joonjae's POV)

Hearing those words, I turned and stared blankly at Takuya for a few seconds: his eyes were burning with determination, but more than anything else pure frankness. Since childhood I was never comfortable with public attention, so I felt embarrassment taking me over... but I didn't want the people around me to notice it, so I hurriedly walked out of the class. I reached for the library with the excuse I had some books that I wanted to issue and started looking for them. I was not ready to face Takuya, so running away from the room was instinctive for me. I didn't want to lose patience and hurt him again; therefore I kept looking around trying to clear my mind. After some time I found what I was looking for and walked to the counter to check out.

(Takuya's POV)

I tried following Joonjae out of the class room, but and horde of students walked in the hallway blocking my way. I was still determined to talk things out with him so I started searching around the school and in the end I found him in the library.

He was about to check out some books, which he carefully held in his slender arms. His hands were discreet on the covers, because Joonjae was like that – he seemed indifferent most of the times, but cared deeply for almost everything. Also for something stupid like the library books, which were already worn out by years and years of being used.

He looked somewhat lost in his thoughts, eyebrows lightly twitched together in an adorable frown. I inhaled deeply trying to find some courage, so I moved closer to the counter.

Takuya: HI...

Joonjae: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Takuya: ME? I CAME FOR YOU.

Joonjae: WHAT?

Takuya: CAN WE TALK? PLEASE, JOONJAE...

Joonjae: TAKUYA...

I could hear the listlessness in his voice. He looked seriously annoyed with the situation and I felt horrible being the cause of his bad mood, but I really wanted to put a full stop to this entire story no matter what.

Joonjae's eyes wandered on my face. He bit mildly his bottom lips, as if he was thinking hard about something. His expression was still restless and definitively irritated, but the twitch between his brows almost imperceptibly relaxed. I wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't that I was completely captivated by Joonjae's features and the way the artificial light of the library highlighted them. It was almost as if I was seeing him for the first time in my whole life, and my heart skipped a beat. I probably was more scared than I thought...

Takuya: JOONJAE, JUST THIS TIME. I PROMISE I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.

My voice instinctively rose as Joonjae tried to walk away again. I'd completely forgot I was in a library, where silence was mandatory. Multiple startled eyes stared at me, both displeased and curious. But Joonjae, hearing those words, looked the most shocked: he quickly turned toward me, ears lightly colored of a cute pink on the tips. Then, taking fast and big steps, he came to me and took my hand in his, dragging me out of the library, the books completely forgotten on the counter.

His grasp on my hand was really tight, his fingers digging almost painfully between mine. I would have wanted to loosen his hold, as I saw my skin reddening because of how strong his grip was, but I didn't have much determination in that moment so I just followed him, until he finally stopped in a deserted hallway behind the stairs.

Joonjae: HEY, TAKUYA...

When he called my name, I came back to myself. I struggled to start speaking before I risked of losing also that last chance to be forgiven.

Takuya: HEY. JOONJAE, I AM SORRY, I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU WOULD HAVE REACTED THIS WAY, I...

Joonjae: I KNOW

He looked straight into my eyes; his black, deep stare was full of energy I had never seen in my best friend, and instinctively I tried to put some distance between us until I felt the coldness of the concrete wall behind me. I had nowhere else to run to and I didn't know what to do. My face flushed, burning with embarrassment and astonishment. Then I felt Joonjae's hands making their way to my face, his fingers cupping my cheeks with a fierce hold. I started feeling uncomfortable and I tried to avoid eye contact with him, but then our lips were only inches apart. I was somewhat scared so I just closed my eyes and stood there...

And then there were only full, soft lips that took my breath away. It was weird at first, but kissing him back came to me so much natural that I didn't question it, not even for a second. I just slightly parted my mouth, expectantly waiting for the contact to deepen...

Joonjae: TAKUYA, ARE YOU OKAY?

It seemed like the time had stopped in that moment, but then a gentle tug on my shoulder made me come back to consciousness. Joonjae was standing in front of me, somewhat worried. Seeing him like that, with a light frown between his brows and eyes wide open scanning my expression for any hint to some kind of problem, made me realize what had happened: I had just daydreamed about kissing my best friend. I had been standing outside the library all this time and nothing of what I had seen happened in reality. I felt like dying because of the embarrassment. There was no way that I could face him in those conditions.

Takuya: I'M FINE. SORRY, I HAVE TO GO.

With the little strength that hadn't left my body yet, I managed to spit out those words and I quickly ran away from there before Joonjae could ask me anything further. What the heck was that? I totally had to clear my mind, somehow. I hid inside a bathroom's stall, feeling my heart bumping like crazy, and stayed there until I couldn't avoid class anymore because a new lesson was about to start.