On The Surface

Chapter 4

Kayla steered the submersible along the course laid out by the GPS. Her shoulders began to relax and for the first time in days she didn't feel tears behind her eyes.

Blue water stretched as far as the eye could see. Seaweed grew in patches along the ocean floor. Off to the right a school of mackerel spun in a tornado, feeding on shrimp.

She began to hum a little tune her mother used to sing to her. It was comforting. An octopus scooted past the window.

"Jason, did you see that?"

She looked over and saw his eyes were still closed. Another glance revealed his breathing was rapid and shallow, and his hands had a death grip on the arm of the chair.

"Jason? Jason!"

His eyes snapped open and he stared at her, wide-eyed. Sweat beaded on his forehead and upper lip. His arms shook in spite of his grip on the chair.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't....I...I need to get out of here! Now!" He started to stand up. Kayla reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Calm down. It's going to be ok"

He shook his head and mumbled about being trapped and getting out. Kayla hit the button for the auto-pilot and turned in her seat.

"Jason," she said softly, "look at me."

Jason turned toward her, but his eyes looked past her, through the glass. They began to dart around, not focusing on anything.

"Jason." She reached out and took his face in her hands, turning his eyes toward her. "Just look at me, ok? Nothing else, just me."

She sifted through her memories, trying to recall how Dad had handled Mom's panic attacks. She kept talking in a calm, soft voice.

Jason was focused on her now and the shaking had subsided, ever so slightly. His breathing was still rapid, and if she didn't calm him down, he was likely to hyperventilate and pass out.

"Jason, listen to me, ok? I want you to breathe with me. Breath in, two, three four, Hold, two three four, breathe out, two, three, four, five, six. Are you ready?"

He nodded his head slightly.

She began breathing with him and counting out loud. Gradually, his breathing slowed to her pace. His hands loosened on the chair and the shaking began to subside. He bowed his head.

Kayla sat back and let him collect himself.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. Panic attacks come whether you want them to or not. My mom has them, too."

He looked up at her. "Is that how you knew what to do?"

She nodded. It was odd, sharing a moment like this with Jason, of all people. She never knew he had panic attacks. It made him seem more human, somehow.

"It's this damn submersible. I feel like I can't breathe in here. Didn't you ever wonder why I never learned to drive it?"

"I never really thought about it. I just thought you were busy with other things."

Kayla turned back to the console and switched off the auto-pilot. She loved piloting the submersible but today her thoughts bounced between images of her parents and her fears about the surface.

Her parents had looked so weak, lying in their cots in the Infirmary. Small even. She had never seen them like that, and her stomach clenched at the thought. What if they never woke up? What if something went wrong on the surface and she couldn't get the cure? What if there wasn't a cure?