When I Was Your Man | E x V

t w o

My pride, my ego, 
my needs, and my selfish ways  

♡♡♡     

Dear Roni,

So something happened today that I can't take out of my mind, I just can't. It's killing me inside, my body's aching knowing I could've prevented it from happening. Knowing I could've pushed her off, but I couldn't, I didn't have the gut to.

I got raped, Roni.

I've been crying since that bitch left the room, how could I be so naive? You warned me, didn't you?

I guess I should've came straight home when you told me to, how are you doing? Are you better? I really hope you are, I hate seeing you sick and hurting. 

But now I'm hurt, this wouldn't have affected me as much when I was single but now I'm dying, I feel as if I cheated on you. I knew I shouldn't have came to this party, I had a feeling I shouldn't have.

But no, do I do what's best? No. I'm fucked up Roni, I don't know how to stop this. I'm sorry you have to deal with me.

But I do love you Roni, don't you ever forget that alright? I just sometimes need time to myself and I guess that's really affecting you.

Please take care of yourself, take care of my baby too. I'm so excited for him to come into this world. I'll fill his life with happiness, I promise.

I'll try to make him happier than I made you. I'm sorry for being this way, I feel as if you don't deserve me. You deserve such an amazing man, a man that will shower you with happiness rather than worry. 

But I'm too selfish, too selfish to let you go. To let our future go, to let our expecting baby go. Too selfish to even think of you without me.

Sorry once again. See you in the morning, Roni.

I love you, so fucking much.

Your boyfriend,
Ethan Grant Dolan

◇◇◇
Hello everyone! Long time no see on this book!

So, that's how this story's format is going to be like, one chapter being a regular chapter and one being Ethan writing a letter to Roni in his journal. As you can see, I'm gonna make this Ethan naive, and a little nerdy since he writes his feelings out in a journal instead of letting them out.

I love you guys, so much. Thank you for all the get well DMs and comments. I'm feeling a teensy better, but I am trying. 

Xoxo,
Umi  💜