sleeves ☔︎ shourtney

--s e v e n t e e n

C o u r t n e y

I was caught off guard when I heard the familiar jersey accent.

I haven't been to school in weeks. I've just been laying in my bed, staring blankly at a wall, unable to produce tears. I spent most of my time sleeping, hardly eating anything because I couldn't be arsed to. "Shower and get dressed, we're going somewhere."

I hesitated before following through with the orders I was given. I had nothing better to do.

I didn't ever think I'd be in my art teacher's car. "You are way too thin we're getting food. I know it's hard that your lover is gone, but he'll be back. It's been a month Courtney. You can't just pause life, you can't just stop. We have to try for him, because he'll be back."

I thought about the words leaving his lips. He was right. It wasn't like Shayne died, he's just gone for a little.

Gerard was surprised when I turned the conversation around. "So how have things been with Frank."

—

I never thought I'd be interested in one of my teacher's sex life but then Gerard came along.

After going out to eat, which Gee insisted on paying for despite my protest. Apparently, Gerard was only 21, four years older than me. It may be a little wrong, a teacher and student being outside of school friends, especially since I'm still a minor, but it's not like we're dating or anything. He has Frank, who's apparently his boyfriend.

"Frank and I, as well as my brother and the music teacher Ray, aka Mr. Toro, have been working on some stuff. Do you wanna hear?"

"Yeah! Of course!"

He showed me some songs they've written and recorded demos of.

"But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed."

"So give me all your poison, and give me all your pills."

"All we are is bullets I mean this."

"Can you stake my heart?"

"Woah those are amazing! I had no fucking clue you could sing!"

"I guess it never came up in conversation,"

—

"Thanks, Gee, you've really helped," I thanked him as he dropped me off.

"No problem honey. I better see you in my class next Tuesday!"

"You will!"

The first thing I did when I got home was call Olivia. "Liv Liv?"

"COURTNEY OH MY GOD ITS YOU! I'VE BEEN SO FUCKING WORRIED!"

"I'm sorry. For everything. For just putting my life on pause. For being a fucking-"

"Okay Courtney that's enough." She sounded like she was crying. "I'm coming over right now. Love you bae."

"Love you too boo!"

—

"Anthony has been acting strange lately," she told me. She was sat on my bed with me.

"How so?"

"I don't know. He hasn't been responding to me as fast, and whenever I talk to him he smiles but his expression stays blank. He always seems to be staring off into space."

"Maybe he misses Shayne as well? They were really close after all."

"Maybe. I hope it's not me."

"Liv Liv, you're perfect. Why would it ever be you?"

"I just want him to be okay."