Memories (Newt X Reader)

Chapter 11

A/N: Yay, done with finals! It's been a while since I've had the time to write anything, but it's a new semester so I should be able to crank out (Crank, haha) plenty more chapters more regularly for a decent amount of time. Also, have any of you guys watched the Death Cure? Because I'm pretty sure it broke me... well, enjoy-

Chapter 11

229.05.28 / 7:56 a.m.

You froze, staring in shock at the man sitting before you. Your feet were glued to the floor, your arms to your sides. You couldn't have moved if you wanted to.

"(Y/N)," your father said again, almost pleadingly. Paige stood to the side, watching, probably analyzing, probably recording every second so she could pour over it later and add it to your file.

He looked different than you remembered, bigger, not as muscular, yet his face was very much like the face that lurked in the dark recessions of your memories. His hair was longer, tied back in a dark messy ponytail, his beard just as grizzly and eating up half his face. His likeness might remind someone of a bear, big and tall with broad shoulders, maybe a lumberjack, but he had kind eyes. Brown eyes, almost black. They looked defeated now, and scared, nothing like how he'd been when you were young, determined, excited for the prospect of a new life. Would he still have gone if he'd known they were going to kidnap his only daughter? Did they treat him just as badly? All the questions you wanted to ask, but your lips wouldn't move. Your tongue felt dry and swollen and too big and clumsy for your mouth.

"D-dad." Your voice shook despite your best efforts to stay calm. The last thing you wanted was for Paige to get the satisfaction she was looking for in springing something like this on you. So you stood up a little straighter and walked closer to your father, who was sitting on the edge of his seat, staring up at you anxiously. "It's been a long time."

He laughed humorlessly and nodded, clasping his hands together in his massive lap. "Yes, indeed it has. You're so big now. A beautiful young woman."

Tears very suddenly sprung to your eyes and you blinked quickly to keep them from falling. "Yeah, well, I haven't seen you since I was twelve."

"I've missed you, darling." He was on his feet now, and before he could get anything else out your legs were propelling you into his arms and he pulled you into him without a moment's hesitation. He held your head to his chest and you felt his warmth and comfort wash over you, something you never thought you'd feel again.

"I missed you too," you whispered into his shirt, which was now wet with tears.

You held each other for a long time before breaking away, and as you sat down beside your father you didn't miss the small, infuriating smile Paige flashed you.

You didn't even know where to begin. Should you ask where he'd been? Why he'd left you for all those years without any means of communication? Had he been watching you, all these years?

"So," he said quietly, letting his gaze drift to the floor. "You're probably very confused right now, and scared. And you have every right to be."

You could only nod.

"I just want you to know-" he took a shaky breath -- "I never stopped thinking about you. There wasn't one day I wasn't worried or missing you. I want you to know I didn't abandon you."

You paused. "But you did." The words sprung from your mouth without any memory of forming them. Your father glanced up at you, expression a mix of surprise and sadness.

"I did what I was told. I had a job, you were safe and with kids your age. They told me, if I tried to contact you it would compromise the entire experiment, the cure, and that wasn't something I wanted to be responsible for."