Laughter [Tobuscus/Toby Turner]

Chapter Eight

"Relationships are stupid." I declare proudly, shoving a full spoon of ice cream into my mouth. Toby and I are on my couch, sitting upside down with our heads dangling off the edge and our ankles resting on the walls. The tub of ice cream sits on the floor between our heads, and I can see the flowers from where I'm sitting.

"Yes." He agrees, then pauses. "I believe that relationships are a useless trap in society, and too many of us crawl out of it with scars." He sighs, and I look over to find a minuscule frown etched onto his face. Deciding to leave him to his thoughts, I close my eyes and take in the serenity of the moment. The taste of Oreos lingers in my mouth, and I can hear Toby breathing beside me. His body heat resonates onto my arm, and I take a deep breath. The silence is peaceful, and I treasure this moment.

Toby breaks the silence first.

"God, I don't know what to do, Cass." He breathes, and I open my eyes. He runs his fingers through his hair, stressed, and I can tell he really needs to vent. I sit up, twist around to face forward, then grab his hand. He get's by gesture, and he sits upright on the couch cushion, facing me and sitting cross-legged. He takes a shaky breath, and I can see tears threatening to fall.

"It's okay, Toby." I whisper consolingly. "Whenever you're ready." I offer a smile, and he finds a sudden fascination in his hands.

"So, there's... there's this girl..." He starts, and I nod. "We've been going out for a while, now, and... God, this sounds so stupid... I'm afraid she's losing interest." He smiles hopelessly. "I really like her, Cass, I like her a lot." We sit in silence for what seems like forever, and then he says in barely a whisper, "I think I love her."

He loses it. He totally stops trying to hold it back and starts to sob, and before I can say anything he leans into my chest. I hesitate, then wrap my arms around him as he sobs into my chest.

"And then... there's my dog..." He says between sobs, and I rub his back comfortingly. "I was supposed to go see him this morning... I promised... and I didn't..." Oh, yeah. Gryphon. We were supposed to go check on him, weren't we? He takes a deep breath, sitting up straight and wiping his red face. "And, Cassie, then there's you. All you've been is good to me. Sometimes I feel like everyone I love is slipping away, but then you go and be Cassie, and everything's better. I don't think you realize how thankful I am." I smile and shake my head a little, trying to hold back tears of my own.

"Toby..."

"Don't. Say. Anything. Cassie, please just accept this. You are beautiful. You mean so much to me. Your laugh, your smile, it's contagious. You have the ability to make me happy in my darkest times. You don't realize it, but you're so amazing." I wipe my cheeks with the heels of my hands, shaking my head. He waits a second, then cups my face in his hands. "Don't shake your head, Cassie. I know it's true. You should to." How could he know that I'd been worrying all day, telling myself I'm not good enugh for anyone? Ever since I saw Tyler with that girl...

I shut my eyes tightly, pressing my lips together inside my mouth, and he hugs me again. We sit like that for awhile.

- - -

"Toby," I say, waking him up from his curled position beside me. He groggily opens his eyes, stares me down for a second, then plunges himself into darkness again. I hit him with a pillow, and he rolls over. "Toby, get your ass up. We're going to see Gryph." He pops up, rubbing his eyes, then looks at the clock on the kitchen wall. 

"It's 9 p.m." He says sleepily, getting up and putting on his jacket. "Are you sure they're still open?" I nod, and we go outside and get in the car. Toby insists on driving, so I slide into the passenger's seet and slam the door. When he gets in, I reach over and smooth out his bedhead. He just rolls his eyes and starts the car. Men.

Halfway through the car ride, I feel Toby's fingers intertwine with my own, and I let him hold my hand. He hasn't seen Gryphon in a good 24 hours, and I can tell he's stressed. He keeps tapping his fingers on the steering wheel at red lights, and he sighs every time we turn a corner. When we pull up at the vet center, Toby leans back against the seat, a long sigh escaping his lips. "He's going to be okay, Toby. Don't worry." I reassure him, but I'm not positive my words are true. 

We go in to find an empty waiting room again, and the lady only glances up for a second before bluntly saying, "Room 126." Toby thanks her quietly, leading us down a hallway marked Rooms 110-135. He looks anxiously at the door labels, stopping at 126. Facing the door, he rests a hand on the doorknob, but doesn't turn it. Instead, he looks desperately at me. 

"I'm so afraid." He whispers, and I nod. 

"He'll be fine, Toby. Open the door."

Toby looks back down at the brass knob, then turns it slowly, pushing it open.

Gryphon perks his head up when he sees Toby, but he doesn't jump off the table to see him. Instead, he offers up a faint bark, then rests his head again. Toby runs over to him, anxiously rubbing his back and kissing his head. "Hey, buddy. Hey, Gryph, I missed you so much." Tears sparkle in his eyes, and he whispers praise and love to Gryphon, who paws at him. They both look so happy, so content. I don't even notice when the doctor walks in.

"Excuse me, do you have relations to this man or this dog?" he asks in a deep voice, and I nod. He looks at me, a hint of pity in his eyes. "Can I speak to you in the hall, please?"

- - -

I re-enter Gryphon's room slowly, still trying to process what I'd been told. Toby sits on the steel table, a sleeping Gryphon in his arms. He looks up at me, a grin still playing at his lips, and I try my best to smile back. It doesn't work, though, because Toby hesitantly sets his dog down and pushes himself into a standing position. "Cassie?" he asks, cocking his head. "Everything alright?"

I start to nod, but then I reconsider. I could lie to Toby, protect him for as long as I could. Or I could tell him the truth. Instead, I just stare at him. Toby knows something's up for sure, and he walks closer to me. I find myself having to look up into his eyes as he gets so close that our chests nearly touch. "Cassie, there's something you're not telling me. Is it about Gryphon?" I nod slowly, and he takes in a sharp breath. I can see the panic in his eyes, and I'm already about to cry. "Tell me." He whispers, but I just stare at him. He grabs my upper arms, pulling me even closer to him, and I just stare into his eyes. "Cassie, you gotta tell me. Please." He grips my arms tighter, but I just shake my head. Tears start to fall, but not enough to keep me from talking. 

He slides his hands down to meet mine, clutching them like a lifeline. "Tell me, Cassie! What's wrong with him?!" The way he looks at me, the hurt, the frustration, the fear... it forces the words from my mouth. I choke out a sob.

"He's got two tumors," I say hopelessly, tears falling fast. "One in his lungs and one in his head."

I don't mention that the doctors are calling it a hopeless case.

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OH GOD THE FEELS HAVE ARRIVED