Laughter [Tobuscus/Toby Turner]

Chapter Nine

Toby searches my eyes frantically. His grip loosens on my arms, and my voice is barely a whisper when I say, "I'm so sorry, Toby."

He stares me down, backing up slowly. "Why are you lying to me?" He asks nervously, a disbelieving grin spreaing across his face. I feel the words catch in my throat. Lying? Why would I lie? I can't speak, so I just shake my head.

No, I'm not lying, Toby. It's true.

He looks down at Gryphon, then back at me. "Of all people, why would you lie to me?"

His eyes are time bombs, threatening to spill over with tears at any moment. I try to go over to him and hug him, but he pushes me away.

No, no, no. Don't do this, Toby. Don't shut me out.

Anger surfaces in his eyes, and he nearly yells, "Cassie, stop it!" I can feel myself shrinking back, and I think that this is the first time I've ever felt fear towards him. "Stop lying!" He shouts again, and I shake my head violently.

"Toby-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Just go." He sighs, and I can feel my heart breaking. I give him one last hopeless look, then turn and walk out the door.

What am I going to do? I know he's grieving, but Jesus Christ. I've seen this happen too many times before. When I get to my car, I slide into the driver's seat and slam my palms on the steering wheel. Why me? Of all people, why did I have to be the one to break the news? To take the blow?

I back out of the parking lot, turning the radio up high and rolling down the windows. I hang my left arm out the window beside me, shutting out the world and losing myself in the music.

---

It's been three hours since I left, and I only just now remembered that I was Toby's ride back. Oh. It's two a.m, but sleep hasn't come. I've spent my time worrying about Gryphon and Toby and just life in general.

I suppose I have to go get him, so I pull on my navy blue jacket and run through my hair with my fingers. After a quick touch up on my face, I grab my keys off the counter and head towards the garage door. Before I get there, I hear the doorbell.

I check the clock. It's a thirty minute drive, so what do I have to lose?

I hurry to the door, opening it to reveal a disheveled and tired-looking Toby. I open my mouth to apologize, but before I can make a sound Toby steps forward, grabs the back of my head and presses his lips to mine.

So many thought rush through my head at once.

Wait, what? Weren't you yelling at me a few hours ago?

I don't care, I like it.

Kiss me more.

Okay, I can't breathe.

Wait. did you walk all the way here by yourself?

The kiss is warm and sweet, and so much is said with no words spoken.

I lean back to take a breath, then look up at him. "Well, Mr. Mood Swing," I joke, but Toby shushes me.

"Stop joking around, there's something I need you to know." He says seriously. He pecks my lips. "I, Toby Turner, am a complete and utter dick." He wraps his arms around me, and I do the same.

"Toby..." I whine.

"Shut up, it's true. The girl I really like has been standing in front of me for the past month or so, and I've been too blinded by love and loss to see it." I can feel my eyes burning, and he leans down to kiss me again. It's a small kiss, but it's just as good as the others. "I yelled at her when she was overwhelmed, and yet she still tried to console me. I was just so lost in grief that I couldn't show any other emotions."

I move my hand up to brush away a tear that's dripping down my cheek, and he kisses me again. "I had also entrapped myself in a love that I knew was no longer existent, yet I desperately tried to live in the past." He heaves a long sigh. "Cassie Jane Embury, you are an amazing human being. I want you to know that." I nod, and all of a sudden he's crying too.

I lead him inside, and we both sit on my bed, crying into each other and forgetting about the time or the world or anything but grief and love and loss.

So, on the night of June fifth in my tiny bedroom on my queen bed, I fall asleep in Toby's arms.

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CRYING ;-;