The girl seemed happy. At school she had friends and good grades, she laughed in the halls and smiled at friendly faces. But I guess it's easier to fake something than to admit what you really feel.
Everyday she would leave school and head home. But it was never a home, just a jail and she had a death sentence. Broken home would be what most people would categorize it as, but how could it be broken when it was never there to begin with? She grew up with aggression directed at her and hatred thrown at her. But she had to have done something to deserve it, right? Her mom must love her, and she must be doing it help her. Accepting the truth would be too much, because moms are supposed to love and support you no matter what, so how could her's hate her?
But the words started to take effect; mirrors came down, walls went up. She cut herself out of life. She didn't leave her room, didn't talk to anyone, because who would want to be associated with a disappointment like her? There were nights where she slept in the bathtub, or nights where she didn't sleep at all.
Self esteem was something lost, she wasn't good enough for her mom, her family, her so-called friends, so how could she be good enough for herself?
She was scared, because she felt alone and she felt dead. It was worse to wake up than to never wake up again.
Life seemed to keep moving, she went back to school and her mom would still tear her down. She really was a shell of who she used to be, she wrote and she read to fill the void of people. She learned guitar and started to play to calm her anxiety. She would spend hours learning languages, just so she could not focus on how sad she was. Even though people thought she was happy since she was involved in different activities at school, they just didn't see the real her.
She wasn't living, the girl was just existing. She couldn't get close to anyone, because people always leave and people always hurt her. She kept her head down and just did what she had to. She dealt with her mom and the the rest of her family's verbal abuse and kept everything inside. She took pity on her mom, thought she deserved better and wanted to just make her proud.
The first time she won a certificate in elementary school, her mom threw it away. There were no such things as accomplishments, just failures.
