I woke up the next morning with Jackson sleeping next to me.
Memories from last night started pouring into my head.
I had given my all to Jackson, but this time sober...
Was it a good idea?
I turned so that I was laying on my back. I wasn't sure if I regretted last night or not. I had felt good and Jackson had felt good too, but I started to think that it wasn't a really good idea. I had hurt him so much and now I told him how I felt and we made love, but I'm still scared of dating him. I wasn't sure if I truly loved him, I am attracted to him and he sends butterflies into my stomach everytime he says my name, but I'm worried that he might just be a crush that'll be over soon. I'm scared that if we start dating too soon, after time I would realise I don't love him anymore...
Okay now I'm just confusing myself.
"Good morning Mark" I heard a raspy voice next to me.
"Morning" I replied.
Jackson sat up. I turned around to see him.
"How do you feel?" He asked me. I gulped.
"What do you mean?"
"About last night. Our... session and before that..."
I blinked twice.
"Mark we really need to talk. I don't think this is going to work if you're not open with me. I really want to love you but I can't because you keep everything to yourself. I'm not pressuring you in any way, but I feel like I know nothing about you. I don't know where you go every night, I don't know anything about your friends. Please, tell me. I want to know. I want to know you."
I sighed and sat up too.
"I want you to promise me one thing..." I bit my lip.
"What is it?"
"Promise me that you won't laugh or judge me."
Jackson looked confused. "I promise."
"Well... I..." I rubbed my arm awkwardly.
"I dance... That's where I go. At the local gym, I dance with Jimin, Josh and Mei." I looked down. "And Josh... He's the 'gym buddy' you asked about a month ago."
Jackson nodded. "I would never shame you for doing things you like, okay? I'm not a dick you know."
I nodded. "I was just scared... I was bullied back in high school because I did dance."
"You don't have to be scared anymore. I love you for being you. I would never hurt you, I love you too much."
My heart started beating faster and a faint blush spread across my cheeks.
Jackson smiled. I felt like my heart might come out of my chest.
Fuck it.
"I... I love you too."
