Jab Bana Uska Hi Bana ~SHIVIKA

Part Two

Anika's POV:

I jumped at yet another loud bang from Shivaay's room, I itched to go to him, like it was a natural instinct to calm him and reassure him, I knew him well enough to know he wouldnt hurt me in his anger but I was fearful of what I would see when I opened that door. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs, he didn't deserve my comfort, so why did I wish to give it so much? It seemed my feet had a mind of their own, within a few seconds I was stood outside his door. I pushed it open slowly, watching how his whole body moved with his heavy breaths, the floor full of broken glass from the table he had broken in his fit of anger. I decided to go to him, I wanted to understand him, the way he seemed to understand me

The broken, tormented look in his eyes as he looked at me took my breath away, one arm wrapped around my waist tightly my body fitting with his like it was meant to be. His other hand rested on my head "Im sorry Anika, for being so selfish but I can't, I just cant let you go" he was sobbing now, heavily into my shoulder, then without any kind of signal, he was on his knees

"Shivaay the glass" I cried, but he shook his head like it didnt matter

"One chance, one chance to make you fall in love with me again please" I wanted to say no, more than anything I wanted to refuse, but no one had ever looked at me the way he was looking at me in that moment, like I was something special, whenever I was with him, I always reacted in a way I didn't want to, once again I was doing what I always did, giving him what he wanted

"Okay, one chance" I promised, I wasn't expecting him to lower his head and cry, I had to look away, seeing him this way made my stomach churn. I knelt infront of him, cupping his face and resting my forehead against his "You're wasting time crying when you should be trying to win me over" 

The way he smiled at me then took made my breath hitch, and I wanted nothing more than to see him smile, again and again. "Ive missed you, so so much" I wasnt sure what to say, when I couldnt offer those words in return I decided to keep quiet. Shivaay's eyes widened in alarm at the blood trickling down my forefinger, I hadnt realised that I had cut my finger, without wasting another second, he lifted my hand, sucking the blood off my finger

I gulped at the intimacy of the situation, choosing once again to take the easier route which was to look away rather than face the multitude of questions now swarming in my head

"I shouldnt have let you come in here, you always were clumsy" the look in his eyes were filled with fondness, as if he was recalling a memory

"Why do you speak like you know me" 

"Because I do, all our memories were burnt in that house fire, so I can't prove it, but I know you feel it to, you have to" 

I wasnt sure what I felt, but it felt familiar, like I would never be able to live without his touch, kind of like he was home. I hated it, Shivaay was right, I felt it too, like my skin was on fire whenever he wasn't touching me, my heart always tugged me closer to him. "You said earlier that you were bad, if you're really that bad then why do you keep me here if you claim to love me" 

He shrugged "Because im selfish, I never want to see you with another man, I dont want to lose you because if you leave I know you will find better and never return, whereas I will wait till the end for you to just come home, come back to me, my life is nothing if you're not in it and I know if this was the old you, you would want to stay, but maybe I should give you another chance to run away, I would if I wasnt so selfish, if I knew how to exist without you then maybe, maybe I could set you free" Shivaay tapped his chin, considering his own words

"Why are you so bad" it was stupid to ask, because the likelihood was, he wouldnt answer, but I wanted to know why someone who treated me like I was the most fragile thing on earth could ever be someone's enemy.

"Not yet, I cant say yet because I dont want you to look at me the same way everyone else does, it was always you and me against the world" he laughed sadly, "But when you know who I am you will hate me, so for now, please just let me live in my dreams, that you will pick me even then" 

"Will you tell me one day"

He nodded "Of course, you have my word" he picked me up, one arm around my upper back and the other underneath my knees and he stepped over the glass, it was hard to hate my captor when he treated me this way, he made me feel safe even if I didnt know who he was, my heart knew and maybe that was all that mattered. Putting me on my bed he kissed my forehead softly and sighed, "Sleep well" 

"Wait" he paused and turned back around, I wasnt sure why I stopped him, heat rose to my cheeks "Nothing it doesnt matter" 

"It always matters" he tipped my chin up with his finger, my eyes gazing into his, making me lose myself all over again

"Stay" I whispered, he smiled again, the smile I adored so much

"Really" he raised a brow "Please don't be making fun of me, because I"

"Making fun of you" my brows furrowed "Why would I" I was lost.

In seconds he had climbed into bed beside me, arms wound round my waist, as he pulled me down to lie beside him "I mess up, a lot, forgive me, sometimes I just get so scared" his tone was low, merely a whisper

I allowed my fingers to go through his hair, trying to give him the comfort I wasn't sure he deserved. Something had scared him and I was going to find out what.