I’m sitting on the school bench next to Edward, and my palms are sweating. matagal ko na siyang kilala, maybe over two years now. And he’s my best friend, and that was my biggest problem. You see, I’ve had a huge.. huge.. crush on him matagal na. To be honest, I’m in love with him na, maybe?. Baliw na ako bakit ba kasi ako nagkaroon ng feelings sa taong ito?
But now, I’m extra nervous kasi napagdesisyonan kong sabihin na sa kanya ang feelings ko. Hindi ko na kaya eh, parang sasabog na sa dibdib ko.
I know: bad idea! This never works! Pero kung ikaw ba naman ang nasa sitwasyon ko, masasabi mo talagang napaka-komplikado. Lagi siyang lumalapit sakin and asked for advice about everything. And talagang everything. There are times na, nag-uusap kami tungkol sa mga babae nagugustuhan niya. (mga talaga, marami eh). Babaeng alam ko, hindi bagay sa kanya! Ugh! nakaka-frustrate yung mga times na yun., Hindi man lang ba niya ako nakita or just consider me as one. All he sees in me is his bestfriend! I just can’t take it anymore!
“So, how’s the dating scene?”
Wow? what a way to start a conversation. Baliw na talaga ako?!
“It’s okay, I guess. May bago na naman ako nakitang chicks sa kabilang section. She looks so hot,”
My heart sinks. Parang dinurog ng pinong-pino. Edward was crushing on another girl again! Na naman, last time I check iba yung crush 'daw' niya ngayon bago na naman. He’s such an infatuation junkie!!!
“I think I might ask her out”
Dinagdagan pa, na lalong dumurog sa durog ko ng puso, (sigh) If only he were gay., pero malayong maging bakla tong mokong na 'to!
“So, ikaw best meron ka bang nakitang bagong inspiration?”
Sasabihin ko ba?
o,
Hindi?
I could tell him, but I’m not going to.
Edward is my very best friend, yes he is always there for me, and he’s obviously straight. Maybe hangang best friends lang talaga kami. Nothing more...
And as for me, maybe the right guy is still out there, somewhere...
“Ahm.., there is someone, pero I'm sure he's not interested. It’s okay, though. Maghihintay na lang ako for the right person.”
Yeah, right.. Wait.
♥
Kahit na kanina gustong-gusto ko nang aminin ang lahat sa kanya.
Pero, hindi ko nagawa. Mahirap talaga mag-kagusto sa best friend mo.
Yeah, parang gusto kong maging selfish at times and I want him for myself alone.
Pero, hindi pwede.. malabong mangyari ang mga gusto ko.
Dahil wala siyang gusto sakin, plain and simple.
I decided not to tell him kasi the last thing I want to happen is to lose our friendship.
I don't want that to happen, never.
He will always be my best friend.
Nothing more.
Period.
