[ evanescence ]
1. to disappear gradually; to vanish; fade away.
❝want to stay longer, want to dream more❞
after the many cruel realities separating the once seven friends who were closer than brothers, one friend decides to go back and change it...
it's here. the day i feared the most. tomorrow is his death anniversary. i wonder how the others are. we haven't made any contact all year long. maybe we'll meet at the gathering? i doubt it. the bond is now forever broken.
ever since taehyung's passing, on my doctor's orders, i've been writing a journal entry on my innermost thoughts and memories on the events that happened then. well, only whenever I start relapsing.
in the year that has passed by, a lot changed. from what i could gather, none of us — namjoon, jimin, junggeuk, hoseok, yoonki, or me — attended our high school graduations. we all lost contact with one another and the perfect youth we all had, the youth i treasured above anything else, it all just disappeared into oblivion.
i miss us. the wild road trips, the crazy moments, the laughter; i miss it all so much.
together, we were stronger than any force on the planet — nothing could bring us down from the clouds. but that was with all seven of us. when one of us is gone, we're nothing but empty shells.
and because of that, i, too, became nothing but an empty shell, working day in and day out at my father's company. i guess along with my friends and youth left my will to fight back. i joined the company, dyed my hair back, became someone obeying my father at the flick of a hand. i'm no longer kim seokjin, i'm just another body in the sea of businessmen. i hate this me.
in those last few moments of youth that we had before disaster struck, there was one thing i wish i had said to you. there was always something i wanted to say, as i stood behind the camera and filmed all of my friends.
now i can never say those words to you again.
"I want to go back."
"I want to change it all."
"Let me go back and make things right, please." — entry three.
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[ We were stronger together, but now we are broken. ] [ 우리는함께강해졌지만지금은깨졌습니다. ]
