Breaking Skin

Chapter 4

Jonas froze instantly. He knew what would happen. He knew Johannes was now probably terrified. Well, there was no 'probably' about it. His face was drained of what little color it had and was now literally white as a sheet, his breathing was fast and shaky, and he looked as if he would jump up and run at any moment.

"Johannes....," Jonas kept his voice soft and low, and didn't dare move a muscle. "I know you're scared out of your mind right now, but listen to me ok?" Jonas slowly moved his hand away, and Johannes watched his hand with a pitiful terrified look.

"Ok, Johannes look...," Jonas slowly held both his hands up, not quite above his head but at about chest level so Johannes could see them both, and Johannes immediately flinched back as if expecting a hit. Jonas kept his hands still.

"Johannes, look. You can see both of my hands, ok? Will it make you feel better if you always see both of my hands?" He kept his voice quiet, hoping he could get some reaction other than fear out of him.

After a minute, Johannes finally answered with a slight nod.

"Ok I'll keep my hands where you can always see them both," Jonas tried to reassure him, tried to let him know he was safe and he could relax, but in the back of his mind he knew that after what Johannes has been through, it'll take a hell of a lot more than just that before he ever feels like he could relax even slightly.

Jonas stayed frozen in place with both his hands up, afraid to make even the slightest movement.

After a minute or two, Johannes's breathing began to sound more and more calmed down, but never perfectly calm; it always stayed just above being calm.

"W-....w-what...," Johannes's voice slowly crept through the silence, broken and full of fear and sadness. "W-what....were you doing....?" He spoke so softly and so quietly Jonas almost couldn't hear. But at the same time, it was the only sound he could've heard at that moment. It was like the world came to a pause, to give Johannes the freedom to speak that he's probably never had before. He made sure to wait a moment after he thought he was finished speaking, so paranoid he'd cut him off just like the rest of the world probably does.

"I was adjusting the blanket, that's all," Jonas kept his hands up, and Johannes looked at him and the look in his eyes broke Jonas's heart. They were empty, but at the same time, they were filled with distrust, sadness, fear.....

Hopelessness.

"I know you don't trust me, and I understand why, ok Johannes? I know my words are nothing more that empty sounds to you, but I will work to gain your trust. I'll prove that you can trust me," Jonas managed a soft smile, making sure there was no pity evident, even though that was hard. Johannes was so pitiful, so sad and so scared, all Jonas could imagine was how many people probably abused him, physically or mentally, and just how much they've broken him.

It broke his heart.

Johannes looked up at him, and even though his pale, hollowed face was covered by a curtain of black hair, he could see Johannes was staring right through him. He knew he was waiting for a hit; a punch, a kick, a backhand, or a cruel word, or maybe all of those. Jonas knew in his mind he'd never hurt the poor soul, but Johannes had been through hell and back, and he knew just saying he would be different wouldn't be near enough.

"I know this is asking a lot, but just wait. Wait and let me prove that you can trust me. Wait and you'll see that I'm not like those bullies, and I actually want to help you." Jonas looked him right in the eye, hoping that wouldn't scare him, and luckily it didn't seem to.

Everything went dead silent again, like the world was holding its breath. Johannes didn't move his hair, didn't move his head, didn't move a single muscle in his body, but he did speak again, just slightly louder. The voice that was so quiet, the voice that flooded Jonas's ears:

"I-....I-I'll w-wait...,"