Jeremy Jordan Imagines

Panic Attack-Jeremy Jordan

Do you ever feel like you are drowning even though you are nowhere near water? That's how I felt when I walked into my apartment after work.

I spend all day on my feet, protecting my employees from yelling customers. Then I stop by my parent's house, greeted by more yelling and arguing before I finally go home to my empty apartment.

I had just pulled into my parking spot when I heard my phone start ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey, best friend!!!"

I laughed as I got out and locked my car. "Hi Jeremy."

"What's up, Y/N? A.K.A my best friend!! Do you wanna hang? I am so bored and I am so tired from work! Let's do something awesome this weekend! We should go paint balling? Or go-carting? Or take a pottery class?"

"Are you drunk?"

"What? No," he laughed. I chuckled as I got my mail before heading upstairs. "I was on my way home from set and thought about how we haven't hung out in a while. I just wanted to see if you wanted to do something this weekend?"

"I can't," I sighed as I tossed my mail onto the kitchen counter. "Both girls that were suppose to work this weekend called in 'sick'. Well, Amanda was actually sick and Taylor is going to the beach for the weekend. So now I have to fill in for both. . ." I stopped mid sentence when I saw a red envelope in my pile of mail.

With my phone still to my ear, I opened the letter. As my eyes scanned the letter my heart dropped. "No," I mumbled over and over again. "No no no no no no."

"Damn girl," Jeremy laughed. "All you had to do is say you can't."

"I'm going to lose my apartment," I mumbled.

"What?"

My breathing became staggered as my vision blurred. My hands shook as I read the letter over and over again. "Y/N? What did you mean you were going to lose your apartment? Y/N, answer me. Please." The room began to spin as my eyes watered. I gasped when my shaking hands made me drop my phone.

I'm not sure how much time passed as I stood in my kitchen, rereading this haunting letter. I gasped when the letter was taken out of my hands. I looked up and through tear-filled eyes, I saw Jeremy reading the letter. "Oh Y/N," he sighed sadly and he put the letter on the counter.

"I'm going to lose my apartment," I said softly. He took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm going to be homeless."

"No, you aren't." He said as he rubbed my back. I put my hands up as I took a step back, out of his embrace.

"Yes I am," I said as I took a step back.

"Y/N," Jeremy sighed trying to step towards me.

Before he could grab me, I started pacing back and forth. "Jeremy. . . My boss yells at me, my parents announced they are getting a divorce and I am going to have to pick a side, and now I have a month to find a new place. Oh my gosh. I can't breathe." I felt myself start to hyperventilate. Not wanting Jeremy to see me in one of my attacks, I turned so my back was to him. I wrapped my arms around my chest and squeezed my eyes shut.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Jeremy asked slowly. I just shook my head as I covered my mouth, trying to soften the sob that escaped my lips. "Oh Y/N." I felt him wrap his arms around my waist as the tears started streaming down my cheeks. My knees gave out as I started to sob. Luckily Jeremy was still holding onto me and easily caught me.

He slowly lowered us onto the floor and pulled me into his chest. He ran his fingers through my hair as he rocked us back and forth. "I can't do this!" I sobbed into his chest.

"Yes you can," he soothed.

"No!" I pulled away. "I can't do this! I can't handle work, I can't handle my parents. And now I'm losing my apartment! I can't do this anymore. My life is doing nothing but going downhill." I leaned back into his chest, clutching some of his shirt in my fist as I sobbed.

I continued to sob as he gently picked me up and carried me to the couch. He sat down and pulled me back into his chest. "Listen to me, Y/N. You are going to be fine. You'll figure out how to handle your boss and the other employees. You'll find a new apartment. And as far as your parents go, you're strong. You'll get through it."

"I'm not strong enough," I sobbed. "I grew up loving my parents. They were. . . Their relationship used to be the type I wanted. But now. . . Now the one place I used to be able to escape work and my family is. . . Is being taking away from me."

"Y/N, everything is going to be okay. I promise. You can always stay with me until you find a place. I've always wanted a roommate." I pulled away and looked at his face.

"Really?"

"Of course!" He laughed. "You're my best friend. I'm not gonna let the love. . . The most important person in my life be homeless." He looked away embarrassed.

"I don't want to. . . I mean what are your dates gonna think when they find out your roommate is a girl?" I laughed, trying to lighten the random tension. He just shrugged as he looked at me.

I gasped when he reached up and cupped my cheek. "I promise everything is going to be okay. I won't let you go through this alone. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I quickly pulled away when he didn't start kissing me back. I jumped up and started pacing.

"Oh my gosh. What did I do? I am so sorry Jeremy. I was just. . . I didn't. . . Wow, I totally just screwed up our friendship didn't I? We have been friends since we were little and I screwed that up. . . Jeremy, I am so sorry. Please. . . Can we just forget this happened? Forget that I. . ."

Jeremy stood up, grabbed my face between his hands and pressed his lips to mine. I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling us closer. We pulled away when neither one of us could breathe. I pressed my forehead to his as we caught our breaths.

"Y/N," he said breathlessly. "I'm not going to let you be kicked out on the street. I just won't."

I leaned back and reached up, cupping his cheek. "Jeremy, the only thing that seems stable in my life. . .is you. I love you."

"I love you too Y/N. I have since high school. There is no way in hell that I am letting you go. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love how kind you are. I love how strong you are."

"Strong? Jeremy, I just physically had a mental breakdown." I laughed.

"You didn't have a mental breakdown," he sighed tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "You have a good old panic attack. It's completely normal. But I'm here now. And I'll be here to help you through anymore panic attacks you have."

"Promise?" I asked softly. Jeremy leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

He pulled away and kissed my cheek. "I promise."