Trust No One

Silent snake

One week later
Jamal
Jasmine and I were sitting opposite one another as we ate a quick meal in Nandos. We'd just been hanging out - something we'd been doing a lot lately - when she started complaining about being hungry. Today she was dressed casual in some black jeans and an oversized white woollen jumper. "Mal, I feel so fat..." she whined as she shoved three fries in her mouth.

Kissing my teeth at her, I shook my head and continued scrolling through my Instagram. "Mal..."

"Yo, what do you actually want me to do about it?" I asked her with a slight chuckle. She was acting as if I was controlling her actions and I could alter the intervals between her getting hungry.

"I dunno." She shrugged. I looked up at her and instantly noticed the crease in her forehead - she was thinking or stressing about something, and that was the last thing I wanted her to do.

"You good?"

"Nah. Can I... just... I don't know. Can I speak to you? And just be totally honest?"

"Yeah. I'm a good listener."

"Okay. I've just been feeling so lonely recently; I don't know what's going on but I just feel myself... drifting away from the happy person I usually am. Like... So many things are changing and I don't know if I can keep up with them." She explained. I watched ad she pushed her curly hair behind her ears and foucsed her attention on me. "Karl and I have something beautiful, but I can't figure out if he's all for me anymore. I-I think a small part of him wants to break up with me. And I know you're boys with him and you're loyal and what-not, but would you tell me if he told you guys he was feeling someone else? Or if he made it clear he wasn't feeling me?"

"Yo Jas... he loves you, stop feeling insecure and calm yourself. He's in hospital right now. Just be there for him." I tried to advice. Being a guy, I knew I'd want my girl to stay by my side through whatever.

It was silent between us, causing tension as she stared at me. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out where the tension had come from - but it was twice as big as London.

"Okay." She tried to force a smile but it came out looking lopsided. Deciding to ease her worrying, I reached across the table and comfortingly held her right hand in mine, gently rubbing my thumb over it.

"I got you. Whenever you want to talk, I'm around. But don't make the mistake of not talking to Karl to see where his heads at. You may be over thinking his actions." I told her. "He's going through a lot at the moment and all he needs is the support of his friends and family-"

"He's going to go to prison, Jamal-" she blurted out. Squinting my eyes at her, I kissed my teeth before replying to her pessimism.

"Stop talking crazy."

"I'm worried for him."

"Then make sure you're in his corner."

It wasn't long before I was walking her home from our little meal, and throughout the walk I noticed the way she remained silent with her arms folded. There was something slightly different about her but I couldn't lay my finger on what had changed. Maybe if I spoke to Karl about how she was feeling, then that could help her calm down. However, I didn't want him to feel like she spoke to me about every little thing; that could lead to him feeling like she didn't trust him enough and I didn't need any drama.

"You good, yeah?" She asked as we approached her front door.

"Err, yeah."

"Sure?" She pressed. There was a glint in her eyes as she spoke to me, and for the first time all afternoon, I felt the urge to just hug her. I just wanted to be there for her.