Death is Never Pretty

Close My Eyes and Say Goodbye

I want my heart to stop.

I can't stop having these thoughts.

I want to stop crying myself to sleep.

But I can't.

I wished I didn't have a heart.

Just so I don't have to

Feel

Or

Care.

I feel as of I don't belong again.

I don't feel normal.

I miss the way I felt before.

Why must life be a dick

And take away everything I love?

I just want this one thing

And life fucks it up.

I sometimes think

I'm not suppose to be here.

The wounds are reopening.

My artwork.

My masterpiece.

Is all going away with

My life

My soul

My safety.

My only fear is not being loved.

I no longer feel loved.

I was told that I was

But now I see them as lies.

I feel used

And useless.

I feel all alone in this empty home

In this empty cage.

In the cell of my mind.

I can't sleep at night.

I'm afraid that I won't reawaken.

I want to leave.

Then I want to stay.

I tell myself that I will get over it.

But I know it's a lie.

I love him to much.

I know he's going to be with her.

He told me that it wouldn't work

Out because of long distance.

10 minutes is not long distance.

I miss him.

I love him.

I wish I could have him.

But life's a bitch.

And life is never fair.

I should know

After all

I'm the aluminum monster.

I'm a creep.

I'm a weirdo.

I don't belong here.

But I have to stay.

For my brother.

I have to watch out for him.

I will always be there for him.

I have to stay for my family.

I have to stay for my friends.

Very few like me.

Even fewer love me.

I'm a monster.

I wish I could change.

But I can't.

I'm

Stuck

In

Place