"You give reason to my name."
"And you to mine."
-----
Iridessa Belle Sinclair always thought of herself as an ordinary girl. She had nothing special that would differentiate her from a group. All she had was a head of what she thought was or...
THE STARES I received from the entire student body the next day was nothing short of bizarre. By now, they entire school knew about my new relationship. Much like the day before, I could feel eyes glued on me. Some of the more daring students pointed in my direction before spinning around to rapidly whisper to their friends. Other students only offered me curious glances, shaking their heads or raising their eyebrows before slowly turning back to whatever they had been doing before.
Then again, I could hardly blame them. Jacob and I strut through the hallways of school hand-in-hand, chins high and back straight. He walked like royalty would. It was hard to look away from someone that commanded attention like he did.
Apollo had not called. It had been two days since we spoke, the last time was in the school corridors right before Jacob and I went out for lunch. Even with all the confidence I tried to mask myself with, internally, I was crumbling into ashes. I bombarded myself with a thousand questions as to why we weren't talking anymore. A part of my mind wanted to pretend it was fine and that I was overthinking it. Another part, however, whispered the painful truth I did not wish to hear.
'You are a bird that left its nest.'
As we curved into class, Apollo was already there, seated in his usual spot while playing with a pencil. He was so focused on it that he hadn't even noticed that we had stepped in. Or that he was only pretending to be focused so that he need not look in our general direction. Victoria, in her new leather jacket and ripped jeans, was in my old seat. Her feet were up on the table, chair leaning on its back two legs as she casually scrolled through her phone.
I frowned, furrowing my eyebrows and preparing myself to go over to excuse her from my spot when a familiar voice called out.
"Over here!" From a couple of seats behind Apollo, Lance waved excitedly. He nodded at the two empty chairs in front of him before sitting back down. "Saved you two a spot."
While Jacob grinned and immediately made his way over, I couldn't help myself but narrow my eyes at Victoria and Apollo. They were not interacting with each other, that's for sure, but I didn't like how she had moved forward all so suddenly when she religiously sat at the back of the classroom and away from her old group of friends for the last few days.
Although there was no doubt that Apollo knew of my presence in class, he did not look up even for a second. He continued to flick at his wooden pencil, watching it as it rolled back down every few seconds. I gritted my teeth, huffing indignantly at his uncaring behavior before marching down the aisle where Jacob and Lance sat.
"You alright there?" Jacob asked in a whisper, leaning over.
"Just tired," I replied. "We were out quite late last night and I didn't get enough beauty sleep."
"You're already beautiful enough, though." He winked playfully, sending a blush to my cheeks from his smooth-as-butter reply. I shook my head, lightly shoving him back into his original position as his and Lance's laughter rang through the classroom, mixing with the rest of the commotion.
Unknowingly, I had turned over to Apollo's direction. Curiosity overwhelmed me as I wondered if he had turned around to look in my general direction, perhaps wondering to himself what it was I had said that made the two boys laugh like they did. Maybe I wanted him to look, to know that I could still command the attention of others if he wasn't willing to give me his. However, just like before, Apollo stared blankly at his pencil, still toying with the stationary without a care in the world.
Feeling slightly dejected, I turned to the whiteboard and pursed my lips. If Apollo wasn't going to even look my way, why should I crack first and beg him for the attention he obviously wasn't willing to give?
Before long, the teacher stepped in and I allowed my mind to slip away from the grasp of reality and into my own personal bubble. The voices of the teacher and my classmates went in from one ear and out the other, never staying in my head even though I gave the teacher my undivided visual attention.
From the back of my mind, I could register Jacob slipping in a comment every now and then about the subject taught that made the entire class roar with laughter. Instead of laughing along with them as I usually would, I simply nodded and smiled when Jacob gave me a playful shove, displaying silent encouragement before my faux joy died down again.
As much as I willed myself not to, I still found myself turning over to look at Apollo. His eyes were glued onto the teacher's figure, hands numbly scribbling down whatever was written on the board. Even though the entire class was filled with howls of laughter, Apollo did not even crack a smile. He simply blinked it all away, focusing on the task at hand. I had never seen him so emotionless before.
Unable to help myself, I turned over to silently observe Victoria where she sat at my usual spot. She, too, had her back straight, staring at the board ahead in an almost bored expression. Every once in a while, she would crack her knuckles, flexing her fingers before returning them to rest on the table. Although Apollo and Victoria sat together for the entire class, they did not interact even once.
Even as class ended and all of the students rushed out of class, neither Apollo nor Victoria had spoken a single word. They each packed up their bags quickly, darting out of the classroom before I could even dream of catching up. By the time the storm had quietened down and most of the students were gone, Apollo had already long disappeared into the next class. Seeing as to how he acted in this one, I did not expect him to leave a spot for me in each of our shared classes.
For the first time since Apollo had moved here, I saw the version of him that the media used to portray him as. He became an empty shell so void that he radiates darkness and agony. I couldn't help but think that it was my fault he turned out this way.
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