Chapter 9
➶ The sun has just been born when I awake from my slumber. Peeta's arms are tucked behind his head, snoring slightly besides me. To get my mind off of things, I decide to go for a little walk by myself. Tip-toeing down the stairs, I slip on my hunting boots and head for the woods. When I close the door behind me, Johanna was outside, taking in the warm breeze on this spring day. She glances over to me, smiling a bit. I grin, and walk over to her, very slowly. "Katniss, I just want to let you know. Even though the baby is gone, putting the room together was worthless, and all this eating... is meaningless, I'm not going to leave you stranded here to drown in your depression." Johanna says. A tear slides down my face, and I grab her and squeeze the life out of her. "T-thank you J-johanna. You don't know how much that means to me." I say, my words are broken up due to the slight sob. "Leave, enjoy the day. Come back when your ready." says Johanna. I trot down the dirt path towards the woods, waving goodbye until later. ❁❁➶❁❁ My braid swings back and forth as I near the uncharged electrical fence. I glide under the wires and take steep steps going down the hill when I get closer to the woodsy trees. The birds flying, the water from the river being churned from the rocks beneath it, and the smell of the dirt and bark... This is home. I try to find the hollow log I've always kept my bow and quiver in, and quietly swing the strap over my head and sneak into the wooded area. A rabbit catches me sight, and I reach behind my head to gently to grab the feathers of the arrow. Within seconds the arrow is loaded onto the string, and released into the rabbit's side. It only takes me a few minutes to skin the animal, and I relax in my own environment where life is born then killed. ➶
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➶ Peeta comes rushing towards me, I'm crying a river right now. The doctor inhales a breathe, and stares at me with a frown. "I'm sorry Mrs. Mellark." I sob into Peeta's arms, almost positive that he's in tears, too. My mother is speechless, and Johanna's words were robbed right from her mouth. The kids don't exactly understand what's going on right now, so my mother and Johanna offer to take Willow and Rye home while Peeta and I stay here in the hospital. As soon as they leave, I stare into Peeta's blue eyes, now dulled from the Capitol's hijacking and stress from the baby. But somewhere in their I will find life, the sparks that once ignited. "Why, Peeta? Why us? Do we really have to go through this?" I can't hold in my sobs and I practically throw my arms around my husband while we talk. ❁❁➶❁❁ "But Peeta, I wanted another child!" "I know babe, but maybe this baby just wasn't meant for us to have..." Since when does he call me babe? This is new.... I try to think of all the things I could have done wrong to have a miscarriage. Did Peeta and I do something wrong, or maybe was the baby itself just not fully functioning? "Peeta, what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" I'm practically screaming, but Peeta puts his hand over my mouth to stop me from shattering glass. "Katniss, it's devastating. I know, but we have to forget. We have to move on, and time will heal." "Did you even want a baby, Peeta?" To me, Peeta sounds like he can care less. "Are you kidding? Of course I wanted the baby! But we have to learn and try better next time." Peeta takes my hand, and places a delicate kiss on the top. Until we drive home, he rubs my back, and whispers sweet nothings in my ear. Even though we are individuals, we grieved together, both our hearts combined as one which built the relationship we have today. ➶
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➶ After hours of staying in the hospital, I have many tests done to find out what's going on. I stare around this terrifying room, looking at all the instruments and tools they supply for various reasons. One of the doctors comes over to me to shoot a needle in my arm, and a feeling of running water inside my body gives me goosebumps all throughout. My family walks in, Peeta and the kids with my mother. Johanna must be sleeping, at a time like this. Peeta come over to wrap his arms around me, and plants little kisses on my forehead. The doctor comes again to inject another needle in my arm, but instead of a rushing of water feeling, I faint and fall back down on the cot. ❁❁➶❁❁ My eyes aren't open but I'm still awake, hoping I'm not dreaming. There is absolute silence in this room, only my short breathes filling my ears with sound. Where everyone went is a mystery, being that I pretty much passed out for who knows how long, and not a single peep nor person in this room. Until, I can hear footsteps trotting in the hallway nearing the room. Little baby cry's that sound like Rye's, Willow's whining voice. Loud gasps explode in sound outside the room, making my heart beat a million times faster. What is happening? Is everyone okay? I can hear my mother's faint cry outside in the hallway, as everyone nears the door. The doctor turns the handle, and everyone's drooped faces stare at me with surprise and sorrow. The doctor grips his clipboard before he speaks. "Katniss, you have lost your baby..." I'm so confused by his statement. "What do you mean?" "Katniss, dear. You have had a miscarriage." ➶
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