My Thoughts

Who She Was

"She's been teased, hit, spat at and belittled and yet in spite of this she forges a dream and uses all of her string of misfortune as fuel to propel towards her ambition." -Liban Silver.

Based of a series of true events.

She was such a bubbly and happy person, excited to meet new people and experience all that life had to offer, but this world is cruel. You see, life doesn't offer only good things, it gives pain and suffering in exchange for peace and serenity. It wasn't fair to her, but nothing ever is. This world is what weighed down on her, like she was holding up the very sky. It was merciless and wrong, but no one stopped it. People are what brought the sky down, and people are what killed her.

She use to be so jovial, but then she was just... gone. She locked away her very heart and soul. Every fiber of her being tucked away from those that surrounded her, from those that truly loved her.

It wasn't her fault, not like she kept telling herself, it never was. But she still took all the blame, and bottled it up inside. She didn't complain to another soul, not a peep. She kept putting on a mask, and whenever it cracked or chipped, she tried her best to fix it. She used pretty paints and honey sweet words to push people away from her troubles. Unfortunately, it worked.

Now, she is truly gone, a permanent solution, just too tempting.

I guess it was just too hard for people to be kind, for those who resented her kindness to let her be, because they are the ones who isolated her. And the isolation, drove wedges in her relationships. Those wedges became gaping caverns. Friends and family alike felt miles away. And the cold loneliness seeped into her core, freezing the joy she used as fuel.

Once that joy was gone, the rest wasn't that hard. She fell in love with dark scars, gleaming red. But no one knew. Her little secret was a bomb inside, ticking down, but only she could hear. Until it went off, and torn down everything around her. At the center, she was the first to go, to end, to disappear. A trail of tears and suffering was left in her wake, but it was not her own.

Those that she left behind suffered the most, the aftermath of her explosion, her collapse, is what haunts them today.

All they could see was the mask, all the lies blinded them. And while to her, they were canyons apart, they felt that they were right there beside her. She was there one day, and gone the next. For them, it was too fast, too sudden, and completely unpredictable. And the walls fall down.

Remember, there is always someone there, a complete stranger, a friend, a significant other. A parent, a sibling, an aunt or uncle. God if that's what you believe, even your worst enemy. But there is always someone...

Dedicated to Yulia.