Imagines

Michael Clifford: Scared To Love

(Songs: Thanks To You, Robbers, Break Your Little Heart, Sex)

Michael and you didn't have a really good relationship. None of your friends understood why you are still dating him. You just respond with a shut up or that they dont know anything. The boys also dont understand and always try to get Michael to make him understand that he's not in a healthy relationship. But he does what you do and says they know nothing. Despite your hostile relationship you both live together in an apartment, But Michael's not there as much. So its just you in the apartment. Usually every time he comes back home it ends in a fight. You dont really think about them much, because he comes back eventually and you both end up falling asleep together in the end. But today was a different story.

"(Y/N)!!!!" Michael screamed from your small living room. "WHAT?" you shout back and you walk into the room. "Where the hell did you put the papers that were on the coffee table?" "I didn't put them anyway dumb ass." you shot back at him. He just you a vicious glare, grabbed his guitar and slammed the door shut. You huffed and walked back to your room. You rolled your eyes as you found the paper he needed on his nightstand. "What a freaking dumb ass" you said to yourself as you grabbed the papers and then your car keys. You left and drove over to the recording studio. When you walked in you saw Ashton and asked where Michael was. "Oh, hey (y/n)." "Hey Ash, you know where Mike is?" "Oh... i wouldnt go in there if i was you. He's really pissed off." You didn't answer him. You just walked into the room. He was there laughing at something Calum has said. "Michael." He stopped and turned to you, his face falling. "What do you want?" "Came to give you your papers you needed." "Oh! So you did have them! You're such a fucking liar (y/n)!" Everyone was quiet and watching you two. "Oh! I'm the liar!? Really Michael! then why don't you really tell me where you went five nights ago!" Michael paled and then his face grew red. "That's right. You piece of shit. I dont know why im still dating you." You flung the papers at him then ran out of the building and back to your apartment. You heard Michael shouting profanities as you left. Michael even pushed Luke out of the way as he ran out of the room and into the bathroom. 

Loving Michael was hard. You've told yourself that many time, yet you still stayed with him. it's been almost a year. The beginning of your two's relationship it was fine. But once he got more popular and busier it was harder and he seemed to be more distant. You responded with all of this with being cold and mean. And he would give it right back. Yet you two still stayed together. Michael also has a hard time admitting he loves you. It was hard for him.

It is 3:00 and you are still up, lying on Michael's side of the bed. The pillow and sheets still smelled like him. You were listening to Robber by The 1975 in the background. You have been lying there since you got back from the recording studio. You didn't cry, you have only been thinking of your relationship. Thinking where it went wrong. Why did it turn so badly? Why you were still with him. But you also thought about how you never wanted him to leave you. You were actually really afraid he would leave you. 

Michael was gone the whole night. You woke up without him next to you. You woke up without hearing him in the kitchen yelling and cursing at objects. You smiled a bit at that thought, but reality hit you like a fucking train. You let out a choked sob. You jumped out of bed and ran to his closet. You put on his favorite flannel then proceeded to throw and fling all of his clothes out of the closet. You moved on into the kitchen and began screaming and crying and you threw all the plates and glasses on the floor. You broke every last glass, plate, everything. You even got cuts on your skin. You then sank onto the floor cursing Michael's name. It was around 1:00 the next morning when you heard the door open. You didn't have the strength to move from the floor. You heard footsteps, and the feet crunching the glass and ceramic on the wooden floor. "(Y/N)!" It was Michael. You moved your head up and saw him rushing towards you. "Oh my god (y/n), what have i done? What have I done?" He started crying as he held your head and leaned over you. You slowly started to sit up. He gripped your face in his hands and just looked into your eyes. "I am so sorry (y/n). I'm sorry for everything." He then leaned in and kissed you all over your face. You began crying and then moved in to hug him. "You left me. Why were you gone for so long?" "I was trying to figure out us..." You stared at him, and then you rose up, him following you. He looked down and rubbed his thumb and pointer finger on the fabric of his flannel, then he saw your bare feet."(y/n), youre feet!" "i dont care." You looked up at him. "Do you hate me?" "No. I dont... I.." "Then why do we always act this way with each other!?" You cried out while pushing your hair out of the way. Michael looked pained by your question. He cradled his head in his head. "I dont know! I honestly dont know!" "Bullshit! Tell me why! Please Michael. I know you know the reason. Please just tell me!" You choked out. 

"You wanna know the real reason?" You nodded. "Fine. Here it is. I'm afraid." He threw his hands out staggered back, with tears falling down his face. You felt your heart break and you saw him react this way. Then he sat down and leaned against the pantry, then he quietly began talking. "It was fours months into our relationship. I began feeling something. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't really like it. It made me feel different and caused me to act different." You thought back to that month, and you did remember that he acted different. "I remember looking at you one day reading a book, while twirling a piece of your hair." He smiled at that memory. "I then got this overwhelming feeling and i nearly fell over. I remember that night waking up and seeing your face and I felt that feeling again. This time I got out of bed and left. I went to the bar and got drunk. I was trying to get rid of the feeling. I came home the next morning and you were worried sick. Yelling at me and throwing books at me. I said some things to you i really shouldn't have, i'm sorry about that by the way, anyway i left again then i came back and apologized. You forgave me and i freaked out. Over the months it just got worse and worse. We fought everyday and it hurt. It really did but i hide it. I remember talking to Luke about it and he said something that terrified me. He said that I was in love. In love with you.He also said that you were in love with me too." Luke was right. I did love Michael. "I thought how was someone able to love me. I mean look at me. Im not perfect. I dont have the perfect body. My hair is always a different color, it'll probably fall out one day. I fucking dropped out of school to be in a band. I'm not perfect. So how could anyone love me? But hearing that someone did loved me freaked me the fuck out. I guess i was just trying to hide from it or run away. I dont know. I thought that being in love made you a loser and made you all mushy and shit. I didn't want that to happen to me. But after coming in here and seeing you lying on the floor covered in cuts and glass all over the floor. I couldn't stand hiding it. You were in pain and it was all my fault. I couldn't handle that. (y/n)... i love you. I love you so much it hurts." After his story and his confession you just stood there. You watched him sitting there looking broken and confused. His head in his hands. You walked over to him and sat right in front of him. "Michael...." Your voice broke. "I love you too. I love you..." He looked up at you. He thought for a minute and then he grabbed your face and crashed his lips onto yours. It felt good. It felt good to finally admit your feelings, and know that his feelings where the same. After the kiss you both sat there, and then you slowly began to fall asleep. You remember being picked up and placed into bed.Michael then got into bed next to you, leaned over kissed your cheek and said, "i'll love you forever."