Somewhere in Connecticut a girl with mahogany locks of soft hair that tumbled to her chest, a fragile frame, creamy pale skin that glowed softly under the midday sun and leafy green eyes that froze time was perched on a faded park bench parallel to the high street. The bench had paint that was peeling away, and the oak tree above it was seemingly trying to shade it.
The girl wore a flannel shirt that had slightly faded with age and a pair of blue jeans which were slightly ripped in places. In her lap was a small, black, leather bound book. A silver pen rested between her thumb and slender forefinger, paused in midair. Her gaze was fixated on a spot across from her as the gentle breath of wind ruffled her hair.
In her line of sight were two people, a male and a female, both young and happy. The boy had his arm around the girl as she looked up at him adoringly, occasionally laughing at something he said. He kissed her softly on the top of the head and she moved closer still to rest her head upon his strong shoulder.
The girl on the park bench averted her gaze to the small book that lay in her lap, and she tipped the pen so that it was no longer frozen, to connect with it's pages.
'Love is peculiar. A young couple, male and female, are across the street. He kissed her on the top of the forehead and she moved closer to rest her head on his shoulder. Small actions mean a lot. But then from others I have learned that big actions mean a great deal also. Love is peculiar. In some ways I am glad to have none in my life.'
Then she closed the book, rose from the bench and got on the next bus to her home. She watched out of the window intently as it drove.
Her name was Vienna South. Or her mother called her just South.
There was nobody else in her life to decide what to call her. Nobody else she was familiar with- not since the depression.
The depression being he period during which she was depressed after the family that she had left was killed in a horrific accident that she miraculously survived. South got an adoptive mother. She was sad, for a short time, but that turned into depression, and then depression turned into seven suicide attempts.
The suicide attempts came spread over a few months, with a variety of methods; overdose, predominantly. Miraculously every time the doctors managed to save her.
After that, South stopped feeling anything. She forgot what it was like to have friends, or siblings, or fathers, or grandparents. She just detached herself from the world so that she could observe it as an onlooker, not as a part of it. The book she carried with her all the time was a log of all she observed. There were many filled up ones stacked under her bed.
South was like a machine. An observing and processing machine with no sense of feeling in any way.
South ambled up her driveway, the summer breeze still blowing, and pushed her key into the lock.
Her adoptive mother, Andrea, was typing quickly on the computer with her back facing South. As South put her keys on the table, Andrea turned and gave her a loving smile.
"Hello dear."
"Hello."
"How did it go?"
South gave her mother a confused look. "How did what go?"
"You know, your thing." Andrea replied, as if that explained it all. But South understood.
"Like it always does." She replied in a monotone voice. She did love Andrea, but she could never show it because she didnt know how. Luckily Andrea understood.
South proceeded to walk upstairs to her bedroom- it was completely monochrome, with no real character or colour. She had lost everything in the Depression. It was like she was subconsciously walking the earth- she had no idea what her favourite colour was. Nothing that normal people would know.
South sat down on her unmade bed and pulled off her boots, her warm toes finally getting some air.
As she sighed, she lifted her white pillow up and pulled out a photograph. It depicted a family- two grandparents, an uncle, two aunts, a toddler and a father gathered around a mother in a hospital bed, holding a screaming baby. South's family. Her favourite picture- the toddler was her sister, south was the baby. They were all smiling at the camera, except South of course. They were all happy.
With the same vacant expression, South stroked her mother's smiling face. How could they all have been taken from her so suddenly? And why had she survived? For the first time in a few months, a single tear slipped out of her eye without South knowing. It was only her body reacting to her thoughts. She still felt nothing.
Whether it was the heart or the soul that made people feel things, South's was broken. Probably, she believed, beyond repair.
She threw open her window to feel the breeze on her face, and looked at the squirrel that was scurrying in the branches of a tree. A single acorn was just above a very high branch, and the squirrel needed to get it. So it scurried some more, as if deciding what to do, before it jumped with a great leap, only just reaching the branch. Somewhat proudly, it took the acorn and nibbled at it.
South grabbed her polaroid camera from her desk and quickly snapped a picture of the squirrel. After it had printed, she clipped it into her notebook, with the caption:
'Do the seemingly impossible to reach goals. You never know.'
Then closed her book and leant back to stare at the ceiling.
Vienna South was still breathing, much to her disappointment. However, she was no longer alive. She knew she needed someone to come into her life, to resuscitate her, to put air in her lungs and love in her heart. But she didn't believe this person was ever coming around.
She was wrong.
And she was about to find that out.
==============================================
A/N
==============================================
Hey guys! It's Caitlin. I guess I'm writing another story, haha.
I'd love to hear what you think in the comments and whether I should carry on with this?
Don't forget to vote and tell your friends:)))
I love you all<33
-CK
