Pretty Boy.

Wrong.

//Taylor//

I woke up today and the air feels thick, like something terrible is going to happen. I can't tell exactly why I know so but I know something bad is happening. Maybe now, or later, but it's going to happen. Here or outside of the hospital. I don't know. I wont know until it happens or I find out it happened. I feel like somebody made me swallow weights, my stomach and chest being weighed down. I look around and see it's light out, so I know we'll be getting called out of our rooms soon. I look to my right to see Devon still knocked out, snoring quietly. I wish I could be as at peace as he is. His eyes flutter open a bit and I look to the window so I don't seem like I was staring at him.
"Taylor?" his voice is frail and I'm not completely sure he's actually awake right now.
"yes?"
"you okay? It's kinda hard to see but you seem off"
"I'm not sure. I feel off I just don't know why." Devon shifts in his bed
"I understand that. You're sure nothing specific is bothering you?" I let that question sit in my mind for a moment and fester a little bit. Because honestly no. I'm not okay. And I know exactly why 
"I think Marcus is losing interest. I'm always here and he sounds more dull. Like he doesn't enjoy speaking with me anymore and it really fucking hurts." my words become fragile, and a breeze could break them down. Awkward silence floods the room,  and Devon isn't sure how to respond. Staff members start turning on lights which means we're getting up for breakfast.
"Tay I'm sorry. I've never dealt with this stuff before I feel horrible but I don't know how to help" he goes quiet again. "I hope things get better. I trust he really loves you." I don't feel like my body has the energy to speak, and especially not eat right now. I walk to the day room and sit down, deciding not to eat breakfast. I promise a staff member I'll eat lunch but truthfully I'm not quite sure.
Today feels so dull. Nothing interesting happens. Nothing I care about anyway. Time passes and I eat a small bit of lunch, as I promised. When dinner comes I can't bring myself to eat more than one bite of everything. I drink too much water so my stomach will feel full and while we're sitting to watch a movie Devon sits with me again.
"Tay" I make a small noise to indicate that im listening
"it's getting late and. Marcus. He hasn't called,  you haven't gotten a phone call I think you should call him" I look towards him and my face feels numb, I feel numb. Nothing matters.
"maybe. Its worth a try."
Raising my hand, I ask to make a phone call, and I'm told to go to the front desk. I tell them the number I want to call and I listen. Two rings.
"hey,  it's Marcus! Sorry I couldn't reach my phone right now. Please leave a message" a long beep makes my chest feel cold,  and sad. His phone isn't dead, he rejected my call.
I hand the phone back to the nurse and I go for my room. I lay down in the bed, putting blankets over my head to block out noise and lights. Maybe tomorrow will go better. Maybe Marc is done with me. Maybe I really am too much to handle. Only god knows.
Maybe he should have let me die.