healing | taekook ✓

ii

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"you smell like them, you know?"

after mustering a little bit of courage that day to talk to the boy, i gather a little more and decide to take walks with him in the succeeding days.

he wears these oversized sweaters or hoodies everyday which strikes a weak hit on my chest for unknown reasons.

he just looks so small.

"what, like the roses?"

"yes."

we're standing in front of the rose bushes in my front yard which he likes to take the time to admire after walks. they're once blooming roses and throw off a few additional blossoms in the summer or fall.

i mostly just stand next to him and watch how his eyes twinkle for a moment when he sees the roses, then they go back to the same dull that seems to be his eyes' default mode.

i've been feeling all kinds of fuzziness these past few days of just walking and talking together under the afternoon sun. taehyung likes to put sense in the things i say and i continue to learn because of that.

nevertheless, at the end of each walks, it's like i go back in time when i'm suddenly clouded again by my own desperate thoughts and i fail to feel anything. all i'm left with is the chronic feeling of emptiness.

so to say, lately i've been seeing the world in black and white, and i haven't seen this much color since the boy in huge sweaters came into view.

"so, is it another time yet?"

"what do you mean?"

it adds to the long list of things that i like about him, but i still haven't gotten used to how deep his voice is.

"the answer to the first question."

"oh."

he stays quiet for a second and i don't push it anymore. we stand silently under the sun, our feet against the ground and the sound of tires screeching hang in the air.

"taehyung?"

our heads both turn to the direction of the voice and come face to face with a woman, most likely in her mid forties, and taehyung's got her eyes.

it feels fuzzy to know and be able to say the boy's name even only in my head.

taehyung walks toward his mother, he confirms by mouthing me the words, placing a hand on her shoulder gently to guide her to the opposite direction we were going earlier. she looks confused and lost.

"you heard my name. what's yours?"

looking over his shoulder, i see taehyung with the same boxy smile plastered across his face. i swear that in this moment i can feel the blood rushing through my veins, and i find myself mirroring his smile.

"how about i tell you another time?"

taehyung shakes his head, still wearing a smile before he turns around to walk away with his mother.

"w-what are we doing outside, taehyung?" his mother asks, her voice laced with confusion.

"we were just going back home from grandma's house? you remember grandma, right?"

"i think so, y-yeah, i remember."

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