Erwin X Reader Oneshots

KILL YOURSELF Erwin X Suicidal! Reader

"Erwin I'm fucking done! I can take this anymore. I just need to end it all!" I scream at my boyfriend.

He takes me into his arms and hugs me. I try to push him away, but he won't let me. I admire that in him, but he needs to let go of me. I'm no good for him. He can do so much better than a suicidal, ignorant, annoying brat. Who would want someone like that in the first place? He knew what he was getting into, but he still wanted me. I'll never understand him and his optimism.

"No. You're not doing shit! I will do everything it takes from you fucking doing anything! I care for you too much! You can beat this."

I froze when he said that. It took me by surprise. But that doesn't change my mind. I need to put myself out of my misery. This needs to be done. Nothing can change my mine. It's one one track, and that's killing myself.

I have my meds in hand. Overdose. That's easy, right?

Just as I'm about to throw them into my mouth, Erwin slaps them out of my hand. I stand there appalled at what he's done. No has ever hand the courage to do that to me. People before him have just let me put the pills in my mouth and then do something about it when I was overdosing. He's different. It makes me think.

"Just let me do this, Erwin! God damn you!" I cry and a pound his chest with my fists.

Surprisingly, he just stands there and takes it. He looks down at me with worry in his eyes, along with fear of what I will do to achieve my goal.

Throughout all this time, he has kept me in his arms. His warm, loving arms. It makes me melt a little bit, but not enough to change my mind.

I push him away with all of my strength and bend down to pick up the pills, but he kicks most of them away from me.

"(F/N)! Snap the fuck out of it!"

I look up at him with wide eyes.

"No," I breathe, "Erwin, I love you, but I need to. You don't understand."

"I do fucking understand! You don't know what I've been through. I've tried to kill myself many times! I deserve to be dead, but I realized that all those times I survived, that I was meant to be here. I was meant to be here to help you. Can't you see that? (F/N), tell me you can see it." He pleads almost helplessly. I can see every emoting possible in his blue eyes. It makes me tear up a bit more.

I shake my head. "I don't see anything but the solution to my problem."

He sighs in defeat. "Fine. You want to kill yourself? Do it. See if anyone cares. No one will pity you the way you want them to. They will feel ashamed of you, feel like they wasted their time on you, feel like you were just a background character that happened to get killed off. That's how people will feel. Yes, there would still be a funeral, but you'd eventually be forgotten in the rush of time. Very few will look back and remember you for who you are. Many will just see you as nothing, just a mere ant that existed alongside them. Is that how you want people to remember you? As an ant?!" I can tell that he was on the verge of tears. It make me look at him helplessly. He was really getting me to think.

'God damn him for trying to change my mind! I had this all planned out, but he had to come and ruin in. . .' I think to myself. It's no use anymore. He makes it obvious that he won't let me get close to doing it. He makes me rethink a lot of what I have done.

I stare off into the distance mindlessly. I feel someone shaking my shoulders rather roughly. Suddenly, I snap out of the trance that I was in. My arms automatically wrap themselves around Erwin and my eyes began to water. Tears flow down my face freely.

"I'm so sorry Erwin! Please forgive me!"

He clears his throat and hugs me close to his body. (F/N), if you want to kill yourself, kill a part of yourself that you don't like. Kill this part of yourself. Just don't kill you. Please." I nod my head against his strong chest.

"I-I'll do that. I'll do it for y-you." I manage it hiccup.

I feel him smile into my hair. He even begins to chuckle.

"Babe," I pull away from him, "I'm sorry that I put you through all of this. I-I just had this moment. . . I caved in. . . You don't deserve to have to put up with this. You can leave me if you want."

"Okay. I will leave," he gets up to start to leave. I begin to break a little inside. I hoped that he was going to stay. . . "But you have to come with me." He smiles down at my teared up figured and extends a hand to me. I grab it; he pulls me up.

"I know that you may have more breakdowns in the future. But I know that you can get past it. That part of you will eventually die off, and I'll be here the whole time you struggle with it. I'll be here no matter what is happening. I never want to leave you. Don't you ever leave me either. Just stay strong. You have to survive." I get on my tippy toes and kiss him gently on the lips. I mutter the words 'thank you' against his cheek. He nods slowly, understanding what I had said.

I couldn't have ever asked for a better boyfriend than Erwin. He is the most perfect boyfriend to ever exist.