de facto 〖 ponyboy curtis 〗

two.

Ponyboy

Ponyboy had the hardest time focusing lately. He seemed to be thinking and feeling everything all at once lately. It had been three years since the incident with Johnny and Dallas and everything had gone back to normal in that time, as normal as it could get. He did still have his days. He wouldn't skip school, though, not for anything. Darry wouldn't let him anyway.

He was one of the first in class and spent the time he had before the bell reading a new book that's been given to him recently as a birthday gift called Anthem. Sleep was slowly creeping up on Ponyboy as his eyes scanned the words mindlessly until he had drifted off. A gentle tap on his shoulder woke him soon after.

"It's kinda hard to fall asleep in class when ya' snore, y'know?" He blushed, straightening up in his chair and closing the book, making eye contact with the girl who'd woken him.

"Sorry."

"That's fine, just figured you should get up before class started." With that, they fell into silence, just as every other day. The interaction didn't go unnoticed by a few classmates who immediately took the time to snicker and quietly poke fun at the alike yet unlikely pair. Not much seemed to be happening lately at school so the kids got a real kick out of this. When class ended, the two shared an awkward glance before going in separate directions.

The group of people Ponyboy associated with had only expanded by one person after the death of Johnny and Dallas, and somehow he always ended up around this group of guys who he secretly couldn't stand. He started with his friend Cole and ended up with five other guys who kind of got on his nerves, but he never seemed to leave nor did he ever say anything.

He still hand the guys, but with Johnny and Dally gone, there was already something missing between the rest of them. Two-Bit had to get a job, his mother finally threatened to throw him out if he didn't so he wasn't able to hang out as much and when Steve graduated, he worked at the DX while going to trade school for mechanics so he wasn't free much either, not that Ponyboy necessarily liked being with Steve anyway. As he got older, though, Steve became more tolerable. Sodapop was also busy working a lot, just as much as Darry did. Over the last three years, a lot had changed, the new normal took a while for Ponyboy to adjust to.

He was used to thinking about his old friends by now and whenever he saw how crappy his current friends—if you would even call them that—were, he thought of Dallas. There was some good in them that he just couldn't see, the boy would tell himself. The reality was that he was afraid of being lonely again but he couldn't see that. Maybe that was why he liked girls so quickly too.

Ponyboy remembered not being so interested in girls and it looked like a distant memory. He'd had about six girlfriends in three years and been interested in more. It kinda bothered the oldest brother because he knew how much girls could get in the way, but he figured Ponyboy could handle himself by now and tried to loosen his grip on his youngest brother.

Ponyboy sat in the library alone, wanting to get away from the neanderthals he called his peers, and continued to read his book. It was more interesting than it looked and made him think about how he'd act in the situations the main character was in.

"I wished to know the meaning of all things. I am the meaning," he read to himself quietly, not that anyone else was there to hear him. "I wished to find a warrant for being. I need no warrant for being and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction." He looked up and closed the book, sighing and now lying his head on the table.

The more he thought about it, the more he admired the main character and wanted to be fearless too. He decided right that moment that he was gonna grow out of that. Starting tomorrow, he wanted to do something that he'd never do.

edited 4.14.18