The Self Esteem Book

| How It Affects me |

so I understand what's bothering me, but I can't solve it.

I'm a coward.

I stand up for myself in the wrong ways, eg. Mental breakdown. Then end up regretting it later.

I do things to bring me out there, to change so maybe they'll stop saying these things but it never works.

I smile so much nowadays, I can't remember what my genuine one looks like.

I can't breathe.

I want to be different.
I want to be beautiful.
I want boys to look at me and see something to like.
I want to be what society has trained everyone to be.
Seems like everyone is pretty, well except me.

I cant take this.

Sometimes I would lay awake and over think.

Gosh I over think and then comes the tears.

I gasp for air, silently afraid they'll hear me. I'm not pathetic I'll defend.

I'm frickin pathetic.

I can't talk to anyone because in this world everyone has became judgemental so I keep it in.

I never thought in a million years that I would harm myself deliberately. But I did.

And I felt in control.

And I continued to do it.

And I fell.

I fell hard.

Are you okay?