Invader Zim: Hi Skool

Saturday (Zim's POV)

(A/N: Yes, I realize that Zim hasn't be written much into the story as of yet. More of him will be coming soon.)

It seems as if every day is going to be the same as the last. This were so boring for a while there. The brainwashing device just was not operating as I had hoped. I was hoping Gir could help me, but as usual, he was preoccupied with some stupid shit. That's when the device lit on fire, and I had to put it out with one of my spare wigs. And now Gir calls me to the door? What a lazy bastard!

I'm really pissed. The Dib-monkey's sister is here. I don't know how she got past the gnomes. And then, all of a sudden, she grabs me and sticks her disgustingly fat tounge in my mouth! I could feel all the disgusting germs wriggling in my mouth. I nearly barfed in her mouth.  I was lucky to be able to slip away and send the gnomes after her. I rushed inside, grabbing the soap and started washing out my mouth with it. "EEEEUGH! That's....bleeech!! Gir! Help mee!!" I begged. Gir started screaming and running around in circles. "GIR! THAT'S NOT HELPING!" I shouted, soapy bubbles choking me. I fell to the ground, convulsing and spitting. "C-c-computer! RUN A DIAGNOSTIC EXAM! HELP MEE!" I screeched. A large laser ran its way up and down my body as I coughed and sputtered. "NO DISEASE FOUND. ONLY A LOT OF SOAP." The computer replied. I threw up in my mouth, and spat out the rest of the soap. "Urggghhh...n-no disease?" I managed to say. "CORRECT. MAY I ADVISE YOU TO NEVER EAT SOAP AGAIN?" I staggered over to the couch, ignoring the computer's smart remark.

"No disease, huh?" I asked myself. I went over to the dark screen of my TV and started examining the inside of my mouth. Just then, there was a ringing noise and the Tallest appeared on screen. The Tallest screamed, and I yelped and jumped back. "Eew, I almost threw up!" Exclaimed Red. Purple swallowed hard. "I threw up in my mouth.." he said.

"So very sorry My Tallest. I didn't know you were going to call today." Red slurped onto his smoothie, like he hadn't almost barfed a minute ago. "Yes, we weren't but we just recieved medical information from your computer, and we were quite impressed to hear you had grown another two inches in height!" Purple nodded his agreement. "R-really?! You're...proud of me! T-thank you! Can I have those weapons I requested now?" I asked, my squigglysquooch swelling with excitement. "Erm...that's also why we wanted to call you. You see...we can't grant you that request."

I was shocked. Ever Gir had stopped drinking barbecue sauce to listen in at this point. "Zim...you're not a real invader. You never have been. You may have thought that we programmed you as an invader after the incident with Miyuki, but...we had to reprogram you as a food service drone." I sniffed. "Y-yeah, I knew that I wasn't programmed right. But didn't you say that if I improved that I'd be made a real invader?" There was a moment of awkward silence. Then, Red stared at Purple. "Yeeeah, maybe I had a little too much space tequila to drink that night. Listen, Zim, what you did was unforgivable. We cannot and will not reprogram you. You are a defective and will stay so for the rest of your life. Have fun on Earth Zim!" Purple said cheerily. "Hey, wanna finish my popcorn?" Asked Red as the line was disconnected.

A sullen silence filled the room. I reveled in my anger. The word 'defective' was like a lazer through my squigglysqooch. The pain. The pain. The pain. Did they want me to stay this way forever? Did they want me to never improve? Am I just a huge joke?

Gir tapped my shoulder. I turned to him slowly, my eyes burning. "M-masta?!" Gir stammered. I turned away. I covered my face. I got to my feet, suddenly aware of how..tall I was. Perhaps....

"Gir. Boot up the Voot Cruiser. We're taking a trip." I commanded. Gir reluctantly saluted me.

"Computer, calculate my average height growth over the past few years." I said. A few beeping noises later, a large screen came down from the celing. It was definitely, steadily going up. I realized the time of the most height growth was in the summers, the ones that I had spent in space conquering small colonies to do my bidding.

My hypothesis was correct. It was time to prepare.

Soon, I'd have my revenge.