Reaching Peace

Part 3: Between A Rock And A Hard Place.

Being with Ava in the room was like the principal's office. Some days were good, but others were like I had been put in permanent detention. Mine and Ava's personalities could clash sometimes, what with us both being so stubborn, but we finally began to make good progress with the list of memories that I had to review. 

 One morning, when I woke up, something was different. It took a moment to work it out. I looked around to try and find any changes, but I saw none. Ava was still there, the furniture was still in the same place, and the screen was still on the wall. Then I realised it was an addition that made the room different. A smell. Coffee. 

Now, I will never be able to accurately express how much I love coffee. I love just all kinds. Black, white, latte, mocha, cappuccino, frappuccino and I even love coffee cake. So smelling that coffee was just what I needed to get my ass into gear.

"Ava, have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked between sips of my glorious cup of coffee.

"I would be touched, but I know it's just the caffeine talking." Ava laughed, giving me the dreaded eyebrows raised look. The look that meant it was time to get to work. I sighed but nodded, knowing the sooner we started the sooner it would be over.

The first thing that I noticed was my hair. I had spent only one year of life my with fair hair, so I also knew that I was sixteen. The chair I was sat in looked so uncomfortable that it could only belong in some kind of waiting room, and the waiting room I was in was the worst kind. A police station.

My mom was stood in front of me talking to the most annoying cop on the face of the planet. The cop had the strongest Texan accent I had ever heard and it made most of was she was saying impossible to understand. 

My mom replied with the generic 'I'm so sorry' and 'She won't ever do anything like this again, will you Rebekah?'. It was downright boring and I just wanted out of there. The thing is, you see, this was my second warning. One more and I would strike out, and my mom really did not have time for that. Strike one was illegal underage drinking. This was strike two: illegal vandalism of public property. In other words, it was graffiti.

Once she was finished with Officer Annoying, my mom took her hands on hips, you-are-in-so-much-trouble-young-lady stance. There was only one thought going through my mind at that time. I was so grounded.

"I'm really sorry, mom, but it wasn't just me! I didn't even touch the spray can." I tried to defend myself even though I knew it was no use.

"So maybe you were just the helper, but how many times have I told you to say no to Colbie when she suggests things like this?" mom asked, eyebrows raised.

"Well, just once actually." It was true; she had only told me that the last time I was arrested.

"Don't you get smart with me, Rebekah Noelle Harrison. We are going to Colbie's house to discuss this with her parents, but I promise that you will be punished for this." Looked like my mom didn't appreciate my honesty.

At Colbie's place we were yelled at, calmly spoken to then just yelled at some more. We both kept our eyes down and muttered our apologies, but we knew they weren't buying it.

Ava's voice drew my focus away from the screen.

"What could you have changed here?" This was starting to get old. The same questions over and over. How did she know I was wrong all the time? Maybe for once I had done something right. My mom grounded me for two weeks and I didn't sneak out even once. I took the lecture without answering back, when I hadn't really done anything wrong.

"Maybe I didn't need to change anything." I blurted out without thinking. 

"Are you kidding? You got arrested, Ree, I think somthing may have needed changing."

"Well, let's say that I was going to get arrested anyway. I think I handled the situation pretty well! Not like Colbie, who completely ignored her parents and ended up in juvie a few weeks later." I defended myself. This time, I was not just being stubborn, I really believed that I had done as much of the right thing as I could have managed. "The whole point of being here is to see how I could have changed, right?"

"Right..." Ava narrowed her eyes.

"So maybe I need to change right now. I need to stop thinking that everything in my life was wrong." 

"Maybe you're right." Ava agreed, flashing the smile that meant we could move on.

"Ava, how do you know when we've finished with a memory?" I asked, needing to satisfy my curiosity.

"I'm not sure. I just get a feeling. Kind of a feeling of relief, I guess." She sighed as if to show me the feeling that she was talking about. "But sometimes I don't tell you. I feel like it's too soon and that we're really getting somewhere."

Somehow, I didn't mind that Ava had been lying to me. I sort of wanted to stay with her in the room; I didn't mind if I never left. The room was my sanctuary, but I knew that if I never left, neither could Ava.  I knew that I had to leave, and that whatever I moved on to was supposed to be better. The thing that bothered me was that the room was starting to feel like home. After losing one home already when I died, could I really stand to lose another? 

The moment of moving on would show me what I was really made of.