Twilight jokes
A few jokes I found that people made to do with the twilight series:
- How do you stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell 'fetch'!
- Why can't people stay angry at Jasper Hale?
He calms them
- Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as or more beautiful then herself.
She came back with a mirror...
- Alice Cullen and the Hulk were on a cruise and the ship sank, and they got trapped on an island, who would win a fight between them?
There would be no fight because Alice would have seen the ship sink in her visions and never got on!
-Jasper will never be a therapist because he already knows how you feel about that.
-What happened to the man who kept a secret from Edward Cullen?
Nothing, Edward already knew what the secret was!
-What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse ;)
-How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen
-How do you irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!
*JACOB is taking a shower*
Edward Cullen-its about time
Jacob- let me rephrase- took a shower with bella
Edward Cullen-FFFFFFFUUUUUUU
BELLA-STOP IT JACOB
Jacob-funny, u didn't tell me to stop wen we were in the shower
Edward Cullen-I'm getting angry
Jacob-What the Fuck are u gonna do about it? sparkle me to death
Where do the Cullen's go for a buffet?
The Zoo
Why can't Edward read Bella's mind?
There's nothing to read.
What happens when Edward Cullen eats a sheep?
He fells baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahd
Why is it tough to compete against Edward Cullen?
Because he's always out for blood!
What is Edward Cullen's favorite ice cream
Vein-illa.
What is Edward Cullen's favorite candy?
An all day sucker.
Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart?
He had loved in vein.
Why wouldn't Edward Cullen eat his soup?
It clotted.
What is Edward Cullen's favorite fruit?
Blood oranges.
Never tell a werewolf to get a life.
Hr might take yours.
What is Edward Cullen's favorite movie?
The Vampire Strikes Back
What do you get if you cross Edward Cullen with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armor.
