JOURNAL e.d.

|10|

"Emma, wake up. You're going to school." A gentle voice said. "Ethan.." she murmured. "Ethan? Emma, wake up now and tell me who is Ethan?" "Ma, he's not living on this earth anymore. He's up there." Her mother stared at her, like she was crazy. You could see tears on her face. She stayed up all night researching what happened to Ethan. Who Ethan Dolan was. But nothing popped up. Ethan didn't want her to know who he is. Ethan didn't want anyone to know. "Tell me who's Ethan, dear." "The principle said that I need to get out." "And socialize?" "No. She said I am cursed." "Not with that attitude you ain't." "Mom! I told her this shit was a prank, but she kept telling me to believe." "Then don't." "But what if I need to? His soul was here. And he told me to give his book back to his grave, before I turn to the thirteenth page." "Emma, do you need to go the mental institution?" Her mother asked worriedly. "No, Ma. I need to leave." She packed her things and put them into her car. "I respect you, Emma. Here's some money for you." "Thanks, Ma. Tell dad I'm not gonna be home for a while." "Okay, just promise me, you'll come back. Alive, not dead." "Yes, mama. I promise." "Go do whatever you gotta do."
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She started the engine, and began to drive. A cold breeze was being blown, she looked over at the window, Ethan. "Emma." He said sternly. "Hmm?" "I love you." "Ethan, you can't say that." She chuckled. She looked at him, he was serious. "Oh, you're... serious?" "Emma, I know it's unbelievable, but I love you." "I can't say that I love you, too, Ethan." "Why not?" "We don't know each other! You're dead! I'm here in this world. You're older than me! Tell me how old are you?" "28. But didn't God say, love has no age?" "Of course he would say that, if you're dead! Do I look fucking dead to you?!?" "No." "Exactly! Now, I'm living on this world, just as a 17 year old bitch, you're up there, dead as fuck as a 28 year old man. There's an 11 year old difference." "But," "Ethan, if you want to live in peace, I will return your book. Stop haunting me, or whatever you're doing. You even said it yourself! Either I return the book, or you'll kill me with one touch!" "But I can't help the way I feel, Emma!" "I'm not mature enough to know what the fuck love is, Ethan! Either stay away from me and be free, or, I move on." She sighed. "I know you can't move on, Emma." "I can if I need to. If that's the only way to drive out your spirit away from me, alright. I'll go get one dick and keep it fresh. You, might as well, just live freely with your happy soul." "But I can't be happy, knowing that you've moved on." "And I can't be happy, knowing that your spirit is gonna come hauting me. I didn't read anything beyond the point of page 9." "Emma, I love you." "Ethan, I can never give you an answer. I can't be yours, and you can't be mine. We need to be separated." "Emma, if you can't be with me, at least, be with my brother." "I can't do that to you, Ethan! It's only been 9 pages, and have you seen how they've damaged you! You killed yourself at a very young age, how do you even have the fucking nerve to say that I have to love or be with your devil ass brother!" "Emma, I know they treated me like that, but I can't control their minds, now can I?" "Yes you can! You are dead! Go into their souls or something!" "I don't want to control them, Emma. I love my family. Even if they treated me like this. And besides, it's not their fault." "Hmm, then what's the reason why you're suffering, even if you're dead?" "..." "Exactly, Ethan. They're the reason you killed yourself. Bullies were the reason you killed yourself. Everything that happened in your life was all negativity. There was no positive consequences. Did they even go to your funeral?" "No." "Did they care? Did they even love you? What was their main reason why they had to go and try to kill you, but not really kill you?" "No, no and maybe because they wanted to get rid of me." "Why did they want to get rid of you?" "I don't know." "That's one of the many questions I'm going to find out." "Emma, don't." "And why the fuck not?" "I don't want you in danger." "They're demons, I know. But I need to find out. I can't be left here, curious! I can't wait for the right time to find out! They could be dead for all I know! Life is about the right time, Ethan. It's right now! I'm gonna find out, whether you like it or not!" "Emm-" "No! Good-bye Ethan. Go now. I need to get on with this." "Be careful."

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-Page 10-
It's difficult living your life positive when there's people bringing you down, isn't it? Pain is crazy, especially when it leads to suicide. It's a day closer to our birthday. Again, I'm not going to be excited. It's pretty painful seeing the glass break and glass pieces just cut you. Instead of cutting yourself with a blade or a knife, use glass. It's way better, I suggest. If you're looking for something sharper than a knife or a blade, go get a broken piece of glass. Not a tiny bit of glass, something... bigger than you can hold on to. You can use the glass to cut your wrists if you want, but I'd like to crush the pieces of glass with my bare hands and just watch it bleed. I don't scream in pain, I don't cry either. But what do I do? I just leave my hand bleeding, like it's nothing... when it really feels like fire is burning my skin.

-Ethan