The Broken She-wolf

Chapter 8: Fall asleep

Please don't kill me after this chapter okay?  Also it's a depressing chapter.
Recap:
Xavier finishes and places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight Mi Amor sleep well" I slowly drift off to sleep with my mate rocking me humming.
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I slowly wake up and look around. I was in my room at my parents house. I yawned and got up heading to my closet. I changed into sweats and a long sleeved shirt with a lot of struggling my body felt completely drained. I opened my door and everything was insanely quiet.

That's werid.... Iris says
Really werid......
Be careful okay? I don't sense anything off but I don't want to take any chances....

I start tip toeing down stairs, I reach the living room and look in. Nothing. I walk towards my Dad's office and hear yelling and growling. "WHY DIDNT ANY OF YOU INFORM ME?!" I hear my dad scream.

I flinch remembering all the times somebody yelled at me before hitting me. I gently knock on the door and flinch when I hear 6 growls all at once. Someone swings open the door and I look up and see Parker.

He had a glare then instantly softened his face. "Hey hey it's okay no ones going to hurt you I promise" Parker said softly. I took a step back nervous, "WHOSEVER AT THE DOOR TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF AND GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE" I hear Xavier yell. I step back more and I start shaking.

"Squirt..fuck.." Parker mumbles. "Just go back into your room okay? No ones upset with you I promise." Parker says gently then pushes me gently in the direction of the stairs. I shakily take a couple steps and fall. "Crap I'm sorry squirt I forget about the whole stress crap" Parker mumbles picking me up bridal  style.

When I get to stressed it strains my body and normally I have to be in bed all day I've only been in bed for 5 hours.  Loud noises freak me out and people yelling does as well when this happens. Parker walks over to the door holding me. He pokes his head in with me still facing the outside.

"I'll be right back I have something important to do." Parker says. "I'm sure it's something stupid" I hear my dad say and my brothers and  Xavier hum in agreement. I whimper quietly I know he didn't mean it but still after being bullied for so long it messes with your head.

"It's actually the most important thing to me at the moment so with all do respect alpha, Fuck off" Parker says. That's the thing I love about Parker is he's blunt. Gets right to the point and could care less if it offends you. I hear my dad growl and Parker yell "gotta blast"

Parker jogs with me upstairs and I hear everyone follow us. He slows down and opens my door gently and shuts it locking it. He gently lays me down and covers me up. He sits on the bed and sighs. "Squirt you can't stress yourself like this" He moves my hair aside.

Then the pounding on my door starts oh joy. I groan and clutch my head curling into a ball. Parker sighs and opens the door. My brothers, Dad and Xavier burst in. "I left to take care of squirt, if you guys actually knew anything about her, which you don't, "he mutters quieter "you would know when she's under stressful situations her body can't take it and she gets really weak and is sensitive to everything the next day" Parker shakes his head.

Xavier runs over and sits down and starts checking me panic on his face. "She's fine Xavier just weak" Parker says putting a hand on his shoulder. "Just lay with her that's the best you can do for her." Parker says. My brothers and dad apologize and leave.

Parker and Xavier stay with me. Xavier lays down beside me. They talk in soft whispers. Xavier stokes my hair gently laying behind me. I close my eyes and listen to the conversation. "Do you think she'll ever get her wolf?" Xavier asks "She has her wolf she just can't shift" Parker explains.

I hear shuffling then feel a dip on the bed. "They told her when she meet her mate she'd be able to shift, we haven't told her she can't because of a genetic condition that her grandmother had. We all feel so terrible because she keeps on asking doctors and they have to lie to her." Parker says softly.

Xavier stops stroking my hair "S-She can't shift ever?" He asks Slightly confused. Iris whimpers in my head, Suddenly I feel Xavier get up and I hear stomps and Parker following them yelling "Xavier wait!"

(Trying something new play the song now)

I sit up and I feel my lip quiver. Mate doesn't want us Iris whimpers. I feel myself weaken a bit more. Shit Iris feels unwanted by her mate so she's getting weaker along with me.  Iris don't think like that please..I say softly struggling trying not to slip into that depressed state and do things I shouldn't. 

MATE DOESNT WANT US Iris screams in my head.  I sigh and limp to the door and lock it. I limp back to my bed and lay down i cough and wheeze a bit.

Iris keeps on replaying the words in my head and I don't have the energy to block her out. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just make my mate happy? Why can't I make anyone happy?  I slowly go into my bathroom and look at the shiny sharp metal object in front of me.

  |TRIGGER WARNING|
(Skip to the safe zone if you don't want to read)

I roll up my right sleeve and pick the shiny object up. I quietly laugh humorlessly moving the blade between my fingers. I take a breath and slide it along my right arm I slowly watch the crimson colored blood slide down my arm and landing in a circle on the floor.

I make more cuts on my wrist till I'm done. I hide the blade in my medicine box behind a medicine bottle. I hold my arm out and clean the cuts with peroxide so it won't get infected. It stings and I quickly wrap a bandage from my elbow to my wrist I hope I didn't cut to deep.

|SAFE ZONE|

I pull my sleeve down and walk out of the bathroom. I drag my feet to the bed and crawl into it. Now to go into a sleep state for hopefully days.
Iris..I say softly she blocked me out awhile ago
Hazel?! Hazel what did you do?! Iris asks panicked probably feeling my pain and tiredness
It's okay Iris I'm okay, I wanted to make sure you're okay
I'm fine. Haz- I block iris before she can finish.

I cover myself with my blankets and turn on my tv and turn it up as far as it will go since I have sound proof walls and turn on one of my playlists. I slowly fall asleep.

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*comes out from behind barricade laughs scared * please don't kill me
So yeah that's the chapter.
I'll post the next one as soon as possible