Bitter Sweet (Septiplier)

(2)

I arive home greeted by my dog that means so much to me that its quite unreal. I drop my stuff on the floor and head to my room remembering my phone. I perch on the end of my bed intrigued at stupid things on Instagram. There's always something that comes up that annoys me, either a really cute relationship, or a guy.

I swear I cant help myself, its contagious, all I get told everyday is that I'm a freak and I should be ashamed, its everywhere nowadays, and my school does no way of helping or stopping it. But I guess its just a part of life, or just part of my life because everyone seems to be straight but it seems to be so tiring sometimes, what if I ever kept my mouth shut, what if I ever was straight, maybe I'd be cool,maybe I'd be able to fall in love again. But how much i prayed or how much i wished, i'd never be happy, its just not for someone like me, it never was made to be.

Sometimes i do think of trying to maybe get close to a guy, i mean no one knows if hes gay, he might be but then again what are the chances of a guy being gay that i just stumble upon, sometimes i create fantasies for myself that please me because its cute and obviously romantic, but its funny because it'll never happen, why would it to someone like me. i wish i had someone to answer those questions, i'd pray to god but ive been told im going to hell for something i cant control so thats unfortunately out of the picture, the only other thing now to do is, wait.