a w k w a r d

c h a p t e r 6

Allowing Jimin to crash at his house, the night of his devastating wedding no less, was probably one of the worst ideas Hoseok ever had--the kid obviously needed it, and all he wanted to do was help Jimin.

All they both wanted was the pain of previous and unfortunate events to cease--why they thought they would find that in another kind of pain was baffling, but there they were, standing in Hoseok' s doorway and hugging.

"It's cold out here." Jimin mumbled against Hoseok's shoulder, who in response let go and moved out of the way for Jimin to bring his things into the main hallway.

The house that Hoseok had--and used to share with Taehyung--was a small house with a humble aura. Jimin glanced at the soft orange lighting in the main hallway and few rooms after it, dried flowers hanging from doorways and ceilings with red ribbon, and there was nowhere else Jimin would rather be.

At least for tonight. He just needed someone who understood what he was going through to make sure he didn't totally fall apart in hours of loneliness, and unfortunately Hoseok was the only one who would understand Jimin and not pity him--after all, both of their past lovers were with each other, why not fall into the cliche and do the same?

"Do you want anything to eat?" Jimin shook his head.

"How about something to drink?" Again, another head shake in response from Jimin.

Hoseok sighed, "Well, I'm at least going to get you some water. There's a spare bedroom down the hallway to the left."

The pair parted ways, Hoseok heading towards the kitchen and Jimin to the bedroom, but there was still a pit of dread in both of their stomachs.

Yes, they had both been left by significant others, who happened to be joining up together.

Yes, they used to be in Yoongi and Taehyung's position, so in love they didn't care what happened.

Yes, they weren't like that anymore. They weren't in love anymore, there wasn't any lingering feelings when they had first said goodbye. 

"We are not like that anymore." Hoseok muttered under his breath as he filled a glass of water for Jimin.

"We are not like that anymore." Jimin whispered as he sat down on the bed, looking out the window to the Moon in the smoky sky.

At that moment, the whole universe seemed to scream, "We are not like that anymore," with the two of them, but the silence that followed didn't feel truthful.

The room that Jimin planned to sleep in later that night seemed to follow the rest of the humble and comforting vibe Hoseok's house held. There was a single lamp on the bedside table, giving the room the same orange glow the rest of the rooms had, the linens on the bed white and soft against Jimin's skin.

He knew it was a dangerous feeling, but sitting in that room knowing that Hoseok was in the next room felt like home.

Jimin scowled at himself, knowing that making himself associate a comforting feeling with someone who would be gone the next day was just going to hurt him even more.

Then, Hoseok walked into the room with his water, noticing the defeated way that Jimin held himself. "Hey, are you feeling alright?" Hoseok's voice quiet as he handed the glass to Jimin.

All the reply he got was a shrug from Jimin, who immediately lifted the glass to his lips and downed a significant amount of water.

"I'm as alright as I can get at the moment." His voice small, eyes skitting away from Hoseok's own.

Hoseok hummed in understandment, hesitatently sitting on the bed besides Jimin. "Do you want to talk right now?" He asked.

Jimin nodded, "I just don't want to talk about what happened." His voice breaking at the end of the sentence as another fresh set of tears threatened to fall. "Not about that."

Hoseok nodded again, racking his mind for things to talk about that would distract the tearful man next to him for the night. Then, he found himself chuckling under his breath, fiddling with the edge of the bedspread they sat on.

"Remember when you pierced my nipples?" He said softly, a giggle joining the end of the question. Jimin smiled in response, the memory making him feel a little warmer.

"It was when I hated you with all my guts--you should've been there the morning after when I found out while being hungover." Hoseok was laughing a little louder now, still hesitant at how Jimin would take the resurfacing memories.

At one point, both of the men had held the past in a bitter and nostalgic light--they knew they were happy memories, but the pair of them didn't want to hold them in a kind light when the other had left.

And here they were now, sitting next to each other the night after Jimin's wedding, tears hovering on both of their eyelashes threatening to fall.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember that." Jimin's voice was still small, but he still wore a smile.

Hoseok laughed, "I barely remember the actual event, but boy, I sure remember how pissed I was the next morning."

The statement had made Jimin giggle a bit as well, some of the tension raising off of his shoulders. "I can't recall why I did it either, I remember Yoon-"

All of a sudden, his voice caught in his throat at the casual mention of the man's name, something that didn't go unnoticed by Hoseok. Jimin tried to take a deep breath, definitely not wanting to break down while sitting next to Hoseok. He kept on trying to open his mouth, attempting to restart his sentence, but no sounds except for a choppy sob left his throat.

Hoseok found himself on autopilot, his arms reaching out without a definite thought behind the action, just to draw Jimin into a hug.

"Shhhh...it's okay." Hoseok whispered as Jimin cried into the crook of his shoulder. "It's okay, just let it out." The small bedroom that was occupied by laughter just a few moments earlier was now crumbling down along with Jimin.

Yes, they were definitely not how strong they used to be. They were not as loved as they used to be.

At least that's what they thought.