I finally find the strength to write, but it comes at a time of unexpected loss. The second strongest, most compassionate, kind, caring and wonderful woman in my life is gone. And it hurts so much. I already miss your twinkling blue eyes, your warm smile, and the best hugs a Grandma could give. I was so happy anytime I was with you, you gave me confidence where I had none. You have always existed at the heart of my life, being the voice of reason and patience that has shaped part of me into who I am today.
When my brothers and I were little, we would spend a lot of time at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Grandma always had something for us to do, whether it was painting rocks, collecting snail shells, learning how to play croquet or playing board games I'd never heard of and playing card games that were always so fun. My absolute favorites to play were Skipbo, Crazy 8's, War and Snap! Snap was her least favorite game...it turned out that she didn't like losing...and here all these years I thought she was just letting me win. We were also her test subjects for a new recipe she just tried. Often times I'd bite into a cookie and say ow...I think I just bit into a piece of glass...she'd call me a smart-alec.
I always tried to be there for my Grandma, as she was always there for me. She always listened and knew what to say when advice was needed. Whenever I spent time with her, I always felt and had the love that I needed. She supported me in all my times of trouble. After a suicide attempt and on my way to recovery, she told me that her home was my home and that if I ever felt that way or needed to talk, that I should come over because I was safe and she would be there to talk and or just listen. And she was, every single time. And because of our talks I know that no matter what I do, where I go, what I write or who I fall in love with...She will always love and be proud of me.
Grandma, I love and I will never stop making you and Grandpa proud. I miss you both dearly, but I know one day I will see you again.
