The Necklace: The Trial Realm

Chapter Nineteen: Ready Or Not

"Oliver, I'm so..." sorry didn't feel like enough. I didn't know what she was to him exactly, but she was at least someone he spent time with. And gods, I'd just talked to her a few days ago. Granted she was threatening me to stay away from the very person I'm standing with now, but she was just here. Iris was just here. And now...both gone. "Oliver." I whisper his name again. I don't have anything to say, so instead I lean in. I wrap my arms around his waist and he still, like solid stone under my touch before relaxing into it with one deep exhale.

His arms come around me for merely a second before he steps away. "Mali, you should go. Stay away. I'm no good...for anyone. Especially not you."

"Oliver?" I call to him as he turns from me, but he just stops, not turning back. "What happened?"

His shoulders strain against the fabric of his filthy uniform. "I happened. I always happen."

I went to him even as my head told me to listen to him and stay away. "What do you mean?" I touch his forearm but he jerks away.

"I couldn't save them." He snaps. "Just go." He turns again, this time storming back through the doors and firmly shutting them behind him.

I don't know what else to do.

I can't go back out there, and I can't just stand here, but I can't go back to my room yet either. Noah will know something is up, and I can't tell yet. Gods, I know that two people are dead and I can't tell anyone. One of those people eats three meals a day with us. At least, she used to.

Gods, my heart hurts.

This is what it's like to care about people, but it sucks. It really does. I can see Maxum when I close my eyes, laughing and rubbing the small of Iris's back at the table. I'd heard them whisper I love you's back and forth when they thought no one was around.

The tears that prick my eyes sting. I hate crying. Absolutely hate it. I walk to a corner alone, slide down the wall, and in the silence I let myself have just five short minutes. Five minutes where I wrap my arms around my legs and let go. I feel the hot tears run paths down my cheeks, rolling under the dip of my chin. I taste the saltiness on my lips.

Poor Maxum.

Poor Oliver.

Poor everyone in this realm and any other that loved and lost someone today.

Today is a sad day.

The next two days were no better.

The announcement was made about the casualties a few hours after the groups had returned, and I finally felt the weight of the secret lifted from my shoulders but it did nothing for the weight lying on my heart. All classes, training session, and general living came to a halt for those two days.

These were two girls who lived here. They were part of this family, and all together, we mourned their loss.

"Have you seen him?" Noah asks on the third morning. Class would be starting soon and we'd both decided we didn't feel like going to breakfast.

I hate that Oliver's face was the first one to pop up when she asked, but then I felt even worse one I thought of Maxum. "For just a second yesterday." I tell her. I'd gone walking after dinner with nothing better to do since the gym was closed and I'd passed him in the hall. I stopped to talk to him, begging my brain to come up with words, but I couldn't. I stopped, and he looked down at me without meeting my eyes, he reached out and put on large hand on my shoulder. He squeezed, barely any pressure, and then he walked away. "I didn't know what to say."