You Left Her Hanging... Didn't You? (DDLC)

...

That's my promise

A year has passed since I found you there.
Hanging.
I couldn't even comprehend the situation. I just stood there for an hour just looking at you through my tears and trying to wrap my head around the situation.
Then I called the police and reported what had happened.
I tried to sound calm as the woman over the phone asked what was wrong. I couldn't push the words through my mouth.
Once they got the message I couldn't leave your room.
I felt like I had to protect you, even though I knew I failed already.
I didn't want you to leave.
I didn't want my last words to you be empty promises. But here I was. Waiting for ten minutes as emergency services arrived, pulled your body down like the angel on top of a Christmas tree and put you in the back of a ambulance.
That was the last time I saw you. Your empty blue eyes.
I didn't go to school for a week.
How could I?
I was trapped in my room with thoughts swarming every inch of my brain.
Why didn't I stay at your house?
Why didn't I wait for you when we walked to school together?
Why was I so fucking stupid?
Why did I make a promise and immediately fail?
That was it. An entire week trotted along like a man being forced to walk to the guillotine.
It took a few days for the rest of the club members to decipher why you and I weren't at the festival.
When they did though, they rushed to my house with cupcakes, poems, and reassurances that people still cared about me.
I must've looked like a fucking mess when they barged my door in. Luckily I had no mirrors in that room.
They must've been worried I had done the same thing as you. Hahaha...
I nearly did the same mistake as you. I thought my life was over. I was preparing every pill in the cabinet and the nicest rope and chair I could find.
They must've saw those things in the corner of the room when Monika busted open the door, the pills and rope on the chair like honored guests.
Monika cried the hardest. She blamed herself for your misfortune. "I really am a pathetic club president huh?" That line was etched into my head with glass, since I was thinking something similar.
I'm a really bad friend huh?
Yuri spent most of her visit just trying to comfort me. Her tears were still obvious, but her words were so sweet and maternal in a way. "It's going to be alright... Everyone here loves you so much..."
Natsuki tried to be calm, but halfway through her tears and emotions broke her her face like a flood. "I-I'm sorry... I wasn't strong e-enough to save her... I should- should've..."
I should've...
Those are some evil fucking words.
Words that can ruin a person.
I mean, it's important to learn from your mistakes right?
But that should be where the line stops.
The past is over, the chapter is closed, no rewrites.
Just hope you don't make the same mistake twice.
But you chose the worst mistake imaginable.
You made a mistake that can only happen once.
You killed yourself, and your book is finished.
I'm sorry. I made myself cry again. You don't deserve that...
After they spent around three hours just showering me in affection and helped me get myself back on track, they left.
Monika said a cheery "See you tomorrow" and walked out the front door.
The next day, I walked into school like nothing happened.
All of my teachers were supportive of me, my math teacher even said she would give me an A if I even passed the final.
The entire school was supportive. You must've not realized how wonderful you were to all those people.
There was one student, a sophomore, told me how you were the reason he confessed to a girl he liked.
A teacher reminisced about how you would always stay after class to clean up after the messier students.
Another teacher told me all about how you when you first started in her class you "would give me an apple every day I was a good teacher. I was apparently a pretty good teacher, since she gave me one nearly every day."
Natsuki told me a story of how you were a big reason she got into baking when you two met in Middle School.
Monika recounted of when you stood up for her after she was getting bullied by some "basic bitches", as you called them. Hahaha!
Yuri started to wear a red bow, just so no one forgot who you were.
More and more members started to join the literature club, but Monika, Natsuki, Yuri, and I were still nearly inseparable.
Luckily, despite disappearing for a while, I was still able to graduate on time.
When everyone graduated, we all wore cute little red bows and I carried a framed picture of you to the podium. Everyone cheered.
After that we were all planning on going to college. That was when we found about the situation with Natsuki.
I'm not sure if you ever knew, but Natsuki was in a state of near constant abuse by her father.
We found out after Monika visited Natsuki on short notice, and saw her with bruises staining her neck and arms.
Monika and I called the police and got her out of that fucking shithead’s hands before the day was over.
We had to calm Yuri down because she was nearly about to stab the piece of shit.
That fucker wouldn't even let her eat some days.
So when you introduced her to baking, you might've been the person who saved her life.
You are amazing, I always want you to know that.
We all moved in together in a rather large apartment after we all pitched in money from our jobs and Monika's mastery of coercion.
So we all have been living together.
Above the mantelpiece, there's a picture of everyone, including you.
No one wants to forget you.
"That's my promise."
Even when I said those words, I was unsure if I could ever live up with those expectations.
I couldn't, and I'm sorry for that.
The last year has been hectic for everyone. So many tears, both of sadness and joy coming from everyone.
I don't have too much time to tell you everything about the last year, I'm saving all the stories when I see you again.
I'm sorry that my life will keep going while your life is stalled like a rose that just can't bloom.
Why did you do it?
I guess I'll never really get to know that answer, if there is one. I'm not sure I deserve an answer for what I've done, but just so you'll know...
I'll always remember you.
I'll remember when we first met in the third grade, after I decided to sit next to you in class to tell you your bow was cute. Ahaha... Fuck, I guess I know why you kept it.
I'll remember when we found cigarettes on the playground and mistaken them for the candy kind. You thought they were disgusting.
I'll remember the schoolbus rides together to stupid little plays and beaches for field trips.
I'll remember the times we sledded down that hill in each other's arms, giggling all the way down with you.
I'll remember when we went to the fair and I won that large cow plush that you still kept.
I'll remember your beautiful blue eyes I could lose myself in for hours if you didn't notice.
I'll remember when that time when we slept over at your house and we kissed because "that's what grownups do!"
I'll remember when you introduced me to the literature club, and introduced me to more amazing people.
I'll remember when we embraced for the last time.
That's my promise.
And I plan on keeping it.