The Life We Live

Between Love and Death

~They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies~

-William Penn

Many people just came back from one of the most traumatic missions they'd ever been on and they weren't happy to know a cameraman and an interviewer were waiting for them on the other side of the Stargate to tape their every move.

Jack was shot and lying on a gurney with no movement. Tears streamed down Sam's face as she helped carry Jack's gurney through the gate. Daniel and Katelyn were nowhere in sight and neither was Dr. Fraiser or the SG member that was shot in the back.

Walking through the gate with people on gurneys was a slow process. Once they were back at the SGC, people were rushed to the infirmary by the medical staff. Katelyn walked through the Stargate with Daniel and an unknown person on a gurney covered by a blanket.

"Where's Dr. Fraiser?" General Hammond asked. Katelyn didn't say anything, she merely shook her head and walked away. Sam ran down the corridor followed closely by the cameraman and Mr. Bregman. Sam's face was wet and her eyes were red.

"Who died?" Mr. Bregman asked.

"Get that damn camera out of here!" Sam yelled as she walked into the observation box of the infirmary.

Katelyn didn't even have a moment to breathe. She was grief-stricken, but she had a job to do. She worked on people like every other person on the medical staff. When she could finally sit down, she went to her office. She dropped to the floor by the door and just broke out into hysterical sobs.

Daniel walked in and saw Katelyn sitting on the floor. He put his back to the wall and slowly slid down to sit next to her. His face was wet from tears too. Daniel said nothing, but put his arms around Katelyn and held her tight while they cried together for their fallen friend.

Not many people knew who died, but it was someone really close to SG-1. The camera crew walked into Katelyn's office with the camera on and caught some footage of Daniel and Katelyn embraced on the floor. Daniel and Katelyn separated when they walked in and got to a standing position

"What are you doing here?" Katelyn asked with bitterness in her voice.

"I just wanted to know who died," Mr. Bregman said slowly.

"You could have done that without the camera. Get out!" Katelyn said quietly firmly pointing to the door.

Daniel and Katelyn left to go back to the infirmary to check on Sam and Teal'c. Sam was still in the observation box. She looked horrid from the ambush and all the crying. Her eyes were swollen much as Katelyn's were.

"Jack's all right, the synthetic plating in the vest saved his life, but Janet...she...," Katelyn couldn't finish her sentence.

Sam had new tears streaming down now. She was happy Jack was all right, but Janet. Why her? SG-1 ran into the infirmary. Jack was lying in a bed.

"I'm glad you're all right, Sir," Sam said still crying.

"Me too, Major. Who was it?" Jack asked hoarsely. Katelyn looked down.

All through the years of being a doctor, she had to give bad news, but this seemed harder. She didn't know if it was because Janet was close to her and the rest of the team or what, but it was harder. She stumbled over words.

"Janet," Katelyn finally got out. Jack's expression turned pained, as did everyone else's and they sat silently honoring their friend.

General Hammond didn't make them debrief just yet. Everyone needed to be alone or together but left alone. Katelyn shut herself into her office again and though she wasn't crying as much, she was grieving for her fallen friend. She held back her tears the best she could.

Katelyn wondered what she was doing; she had always been around death. She'd had patients die before. Hell, Daniel died before and that was hard, but not like this. She knew this job would mean friends and death, but she didn't know how hard it would be. At least she knew Daniel ascended and was still out there somewhere. Janet was just gone and she wasn't coming back.

There was an insistent knock at her office door. Katelyn could only guess who it was. She felt as ready as she could be to answer Mr. Bregman's questions about the very horrible day.

"Come in," she said.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about Dr. Fraiser," Mr. Bregman asked. At least he looked upset. Katelyn looked down.

"Will this be on the documentary?"

"Yes, I want to show the bonds people make around here in this type of work and I think this is a good opportunity," Mr. Bregman replied. Katelyn nodded and the camera started rolling.

"Where did you meet Dr. Fraiser?"

"I met her here. We became really close friends the more we worked together. The fact that we're both doctors made our friendship stronger, I think. I owe her everything. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her," Katelyn replied in a rugged voice. Mr. Bregman nodded.

"Were you there when she died?" Mr. Bregman asked quietly. Katelyn tried to swallow the lump in her throat but couldn't. She just nodded instead.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"Janet, Daniel, and I were out there working on an SG member that had been shot in the back. There was an ambush, but Janet's focus was on the man. He really thought he was going to die. Daniel had his video camera out because the man wanted to say something to his wife. Janet's words were caught on camera and so was her death. She said, 'You're not going to die. You're going to live and you're going home. You're going to see your wife again and your baby. You're going to make it out of here. I didn't come across the universe for you to die on me'. The minute she said those last words a stray staff blast hit her in the chest. Daniel stayed with the man and I rushed to her, but she was dead the minute she was shot," Katelyn struggled to explain. Tears came faster than before. The interviewer stared at Katelyn.

"How is this different for you than anyone else?" he asked. Katelyn breathed in.

"In this job, you don't want to make really close friends because you never know if anything is going to happen to them or not and if something does happen to someone that you're close to it hurts worse and it sometimes prevents you from doing your job. Although you don't want to make close friends here, it's quite impossible. SG-1 is my family and if anything happened to them, it would be devastating. Janet was apart of my family as well. It's like seeing a family member die or knowing that a family member died. It's not a great experience at all, but here I think it's one you need to experience. It's never going to get easier, but at least you know what's coming. I'll never forget Janet and neither will anyone else. She was very special to everyone. She didn't go unloved or unrespected here," Katelyn finished getting up and leaving the room. She couldn't do anymore.

It seemed a weight was just lifted off her shoulders and she felt the tiniest bit better. Katelyn walked into Daniel's office. He was sitting there with a blank stare. Katelyn went up to him and put her arms around his shoulder and held him tight. Daniel grabbed Katelyn's hands, and she held Daniel as he cried, mourning the loss of his friend.

"It's okay," Katelyn tried to sooth. "We'll get through this one way or another. We always do."