In My Head

regret

i was so stupid wow...

It's a little perfect that my favorite word is "regret". Saying it kind of just pleases me, and I don't know why... it just does. It may be my favorite word but I'd give anything not to feel it ever again. I regret showing feelings that I should've kept hidden. I regret having the courage to tell you all those dumb little things. I regret liking video games, creepypastas, and punk rock because it only made us close. I regret not being a social butterfly because I know you hate those people. I regret talking to you. I know I'm full of crap but it's really nice to just scream your feelings in the internet, not caring who reads or reacts to it.

I however don't regret one little thing. I don't regret fooling everyone and myself. I don't regret that I tell people "I'm fine" and "I didn't expect anything anyway" because it kind of just makes me believe it more than not saying it. And I know what I just said is somewhat... the definition of a fool but at least the pain lessens.

I cry myself to sleep for almost every night. Remember that I don't blame you though... but I definitely blame myself for ever telling you anything about any of this damn feelings.

ha! i hate it...