Better Off Friends

Chapter 5: Not Your Fault

"Do you want a drink?" Kate asked once they had reached the bottom of the stairs. "Because I need one."

Leo smiled. "Sure. Did you put Bear to bed and everything?"

She nodded. "Is red okay?" she asked, holding up the bottle of wine she had pulled out of the cabinet.

"Yep!"

She poured two glasses and carried them over to the couch.

"Thank you so much for helping Joe," she said as she handed one of the glasses to Leo.

"Of course! It wasn't a big deal."

"Well, I really appreciate it. He has problems with getting motivated to do anything but something related to rugby, so the fact that he studied for over an hour without even complaining about it is kind of amazing."

Leo smiled, and Kate swirled the wine around in her glass.

"When I was putting Bear to bed," Kate said without looking up from the red whirlpool she was creating, "he asked me where his dad was."

"And what did you say?" Leo asked softly.

"I said something vague--like he was away on business and would be back soon. I ... I don't know what to do about telling them. I almost told Bear then, and I thought about telling Mia and Joe when we were in Joe's room just now. But I want to have them all together, and even then ..." she trailed off and shrugged, taking a sip of her wine.

She looked up at Leo. "I'm pretty sure Mia and Joe know already, or at least have a pretty good idea. Have they asked you about it?"

"Yes, but I didn't tell them anything. I figured you wanted to be the one to tell them."

She nodded. "Thanks," she said quietly. "I just ... God, I don't know. I don't want to tell Mia and Joe because they've been through this before, and I don't want to tell Bear because he's never been through it. I don't even know if that makes any sense."

"No, it does," he said, gently putting his hand on her leg. "But I think it will be okay. They know it's not your fault--they're not going to blame you or anything."

"I feel like I'm letting them down," she whispered.

"But you're not," he said. "This wasn't your fault, Kate."

"It was to some degree!"

"It's your fault Ned cheated on you?"

She sighed, running the hand that wasn't holding her wineglass through her hair. "If he was cheating, it was because he was somehow unhappy with me, with the life I had given him."

"But that's still his problem," Leo insisted.

"Yes, but it's my problem, too. There's something about me or something I'm doing that causes my marriages to fail."

"Why would you think that?"

She bit her lip, trying not to cry. "Because after three failed marriages, Leo, the only conclusion I can draw is that it's me, not them."

"You've been with three guys, Kate. Three. Out of everyone in the world. They were just the wrong people."

She shook her head. "That's really sweet of you to say, but I just ... I feel like I might not even be meant to get married."

"Just give it some time," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. She curled up against him, and he began to stroke her hair gently. "You'll find someone who will treat you right one day. You'll find someone who will appreciate you and treat you like a queen, and someone who will love your kids as much as you do."