NEVER GIVE UP

NEW BEGGINING

     Life was sweet! Eve and I had an amazing sex life. A connection I believed Ive never had with my ex. We had a large circle of friends. My family loved her. My kids liked her. But my ex could never bring herself to meet Eve,  she felt betrayed. I hated her even more! She was childish. She was mean. She never cared about me or my happiness. I didn’t care about my ex’s feelings when I posted photos of us on Facebook. I had Eve and a whole new life and it was fantastic!
     We were together for about six or seven years but never married. We believed marriage was not our thing.
I believed that after 15 years with my ex, we’d given it all we could and our time together was up, there was nothing we could do to salvage our relationship or marriage. Eve was my future, Eve was who I should have been with all along.
     Eventually, no matter how well we got along in the beginning, no matter how well I thought she “got” me, no matter how good the sex was, the “honeymoon” came to an end.
     Eve and I started snapping at each other. Little fights here and there. I had a moment of pure realisation one night, at about 2am, I realised that I missed the woman who created my first home and family. I realised that if I'd treated my ex-wife the way I’d treated Eve, used the hours I spend woo-ing Eve on my ex, she’d have bloomed. If I’d stopped being negative about her and our relationship to my family and friends they wouldn’t have been so negative to her and she wouldn’t have pulled into herself and shied away.
     She became someone I convinced myself I no longer knew or got along with because I never gave her the time, affection and attention she craved and deserved. I thought I had, but when I got down and really thought about it, I never really did. I never really let her in. I had ended my marriage years before with the simple decision that she was no longer who or what I wanted. And I’d convinced my family and friends the same, that she was no good for me.