ROGER (Read Until 7/31)

S I X

Thirty-seven. That's how many times I called Xerses-thirty-seven times.

Each call ended in a voicemail. After leaving thirty panicked messages, his mailbox was full. I resorted to sending text messages, but my fingers couldn't type quickly enough. Spell-check couldn't keep up, either. They were as rambled and uncoordinated as my speech. He didn't know it, but I was a mess.

Roger explained what had happened-twice-but I only listened once. The first time he said it, I paced back and forth, trying my hardest to reach Xerses by phone. When he explained the second time, I slumped down in front of my TV, completely defeated. That was when he had my undivided attention.

While he was calm, collected, and sitting in his seat, I bit the insides of my cheek, fighting with my sanity. I tried to convince myself of the truth because I couldn't believe it could've ever happened, but the truth was this: VF's were meant to take over; it was in their creation, embedded in their design. Every VF across the Provincial Nations had gained control over their hosts, their friends. Though I argued it couldn't be, Roger pointed it out, as simple as black and white.

The Province's ultimate goal was to solidify the Utopia they'd created, and humans could not bring harm to themselves if they could not control themselves.

No, it couldn't be.

"You!" I pointed at him with my phone, tears welling up in my eyes. "You're not controlling me! That means you're lying!"

"I'm not lying."

"Yes, yes you are!" I squeezed my eyes shut. "You're saying every VF is controlling their host, but I'm fully capable of making my own decisions. I'm awake, I'm conscious, I'm not a fucking zombie. So-so, you're lying!"

Roger sighed, the sound echoing in my ear. He was still in my head. "I think you need some tea. Green or chamomile? I'll start you a fresh cup."

"Roger, I don't want tea!" I snapped my eyes open, catching the sincere expression on his face. He meant every word he'd said, but I couldn't believe it. If I was in full control of myself, I just... I couldn't be the only one.

"I'm trying to calm you down."

Despite what I'd said, the electric kettle in my kitchen powered on. "I don't want tea," I repeated, wiping the corners of my eyes.

Roger pulled off his suit jacket and rolled the sleeves of his white shirt. He knelt down, his image blurring the second he did, but when he became leveled, his eyes turned brighter than they'd been. I looked up at him as he looked down at me.

"What can I do to help you?" He extended his hand forward, as though I could touch it. "Name it."

He shouldn't have asked, because the moment that option was thrown on my lap, I pointed my phone at him again, this time wiggling it in front of his screen. "Get me Xerses! Have him call me, now!"

"Clara..."

"I need to talk to him!"

"You know I can't do that. He won't answer."

For over an hour, he tried to keep me calm, but nothing could. The electrical fire outside eventually went out, but not by official intervention. He'd tried to block out the view from the window but closing the curtains couldn't block my thoughts. I was in control, I was a possibility. I was done listening to him because if I was awake, I couldn't be the only one.

"Let me out." I walked over to the front door and pulled at the handle, but it wouldn't open.

"Just drink the tea, Clara."

"Open. The. Door." I clenched my jaw so tight it hurt.

"I-I can't," his voice echoed in my ear. "I can't let anything happen to you."