History

6.) Somber Celebration

I sit in my room as Kayla tries my clothes on. I let her go through and find whatever she wants. I set scrolling through Facebook and texting Dillion. Eventually he offers to get the house ready for the party with Josh. I of course tell him to go ahead. I put whats left of the cash I git out at the bank in my safe. I open the small black door and look at the stuff I actually care about. A few letters me and Kayla wrote to each other when I moved. A picture album of Kayla and me when we were younger. And the ring Trevor gave me. I push past the stuff in front and grab a small envelope marked "wind". I still smile at the pun. Because I've always said someday i'm going to up and leave wherever I am and go where the wind takes me. 

I add the money and wipe the small tear. I started saving when I was seven. I've dipped in here and there. But when I turned eight-teen and got my first real job I started by taking what I could here and there. Now here I am twenty one with close to a grand maybe more. I never counted but this large Manilla envelope is fat so I don't know. All I know is one day i'm going to either stand in front of a train or be on one out of here. 

I close it up and hide it back inside. "Someday." I mumble to my self as I lock my safe back up. 

"Hey girl tell me if this is cute or not." Kayla says coming out of the bathroom and into my room where I sit on the floor just sitting. She walks in with a rose dusted dress. It has three fourth length sleeves that hug her arm as the rest of the sleeve turns into silk and looks just stunning on her. She does a little spin and I laugh as The back is tucked in her thong. 

I smile, "Well," I say giggling, "you won't be lying when you say you're wearing underwear." I say. She turn around and gives me a puzzled look. 

"What? I'm not planning on wearing underwear." My mouth just drops open and I am left speechless with no idea how to tell her, or if I should tell her. 

"I mean it makes your ass look great." I say. Wanting to keep the gag going. By this point I just want to see how long i can keep this going. 

I hear the door to the house open as Kayla still stand facing me. My face turn red for her as I hear Jeff's voice. "Oh my dad asked to come over to see you I wanted surprise you. I thought you wouldn't mind." I am excited that I get to see him. But I don't she will and I can't hold it in anymore I grab a pillow from the bed and fall face first on the floor with the pillow shoved in my face as I let out the biggest best-est laugh ever. I roll around and can't breath while tears are streaking through my face. 

"Kay where are you?" I hear Jeff ask as My laughing gets harder. I try calming down before he get in our room but I was too late. Kayla walks over to me confused and bend down and I can only imagine the view Jeff got as he walks and and screams, "My baby girl what have you done! My eyes!!" He screams. And I laugh harder but just hard enough that I feel the thrill is gone and am able to calm down again. I try to sit up and Kayla turns around and smacks my head with her ass. 

"Get that out of here its a weapon!" I say pushing her by her ass. 

"Get your hands out of my dress." She says. When I stand I pull the dress out of her thong. "Oh." She says her face turn a deep red and I just pull her into a hug. 

"It's cool but funny too." She nods an understanding nod. 

"I would of laughed at you too so we cool." We go out of the room to see Jeff with his head in his hands. 

"You were still too small for the toilet when your mom died so I put you on pull ups. They were meant to be like underwear but you used them like a dipper. So I've seen you like that before but Its different now seventeen years later and your dressing up to have fun. Which is fine but for a dad seeing you from behind with nothing covering your thong your wearing its like i'm having to admit that my baby girl is grown up. She's not one anymore. That's when your mom was diagnosed. So while she still had the energy she thought me how to change your dipper. now your wearing a thong and showing your body off. I'm sorry Kay I just wish you didn't grow up so fast. I wish I had you're mom here who would laugh at me for acting all emotional while she then cried because someone got proposed to cuter we did. I'm sorry." Me and Kayla get a little silent. 

"Shit." Kayla mutters and asked me for the date.

I look at my phone and show her. "Its June twelfth." She says somber. She just sits by her dad and quiet downs. I don't know what to do. Today is her moms and his wife's birthday. She would of been forty three. And here this man is forty four and crying. 

His daughter has lived her life not knowing a mom and he said good bye for good. She was in the hospital on her birthday and one month later Jeff left his wife to get her a nurse to see if she can have some of that jello she like. The story goes that he said, "Okay, babe i'll be right back." And him and Kayla roamed the halls for like five minutes until they found a nurse. They walked with the nurse to get the jello from the locked fridge. But Jeff always tells it that he and Kayla and him walked in and it took barely a second for him and his wife to lock eyes and they kept eye contact for two seconds and then beep, beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. She was gone. He didn't get to tell her what he wanted before she left. He thought he had more time. But in that moment he had seconds. And he never got to like he wanted to. 

The next day is when I met Kayla and Jeff. I was at the hospital for a coloring thing I honestly can't remember what. But I saw Jeff walk Kayla into the room me and other little kids are. Kayla was smiling and sat beside me. She gave me a jello. The first word she said to me which, knowing what I know now, break my heart every time they're replayed in my head. She said, "My mom didn't eat hers yesterday so now I have two. I wanna be friends here be my friend."

"How can we have the party now?" I ask not asking for the party to go on but rather to express that there's no way i'm letting my best friend get all sad and either drink too, do too many drugs, or worse all that while pretending to be happy when I know she is broken.

I text the boys, "no party it's June twelfth how could we forget." And then I join the couch as Kayla breaks down into her ugly cry. I don't mind because it means she trusts me enough to cry it all out in front of me and not hold back to seem 'normal'. I just hold her as she shoves her face into my shoulder. I just rub her back and hold the lump in my throat. I just feel so helpless when she cries. And feel like there's nothing I can do to help. So i sit there and let her cry she doesn't speak much but she does make those struggling to breath sounds as her nose get clogged. I think it's extra hard this year because she forgot. 

I just kinda sigh and listen. To her sob. Don't think Jeff is a bad dad for not comforting her. Let me tell you about the tenth birthday after her mom died. Her moms thirty-sixth birthday. That's when the blocks clicked for Kayla. She got really bad because not only did she lose a mom that she hardly got to know like she knows her dad but she was screaming "It's not fair you lost a wife and I lost a mom." That's about when I walked into her house. We were at the park by her dads house where she lived at the time I stopped on the way back at her sidewalk to tie my shoe. I walked in to see what was going on. And as me and Jeff tried to calm her down it didn't work. it if anything made things worse. 

That's why when this day rolls around and she remembers no one talks to her until she's let it all out. That's why Jeff is quiet and I feel helpless.