Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
CHAPTER TWO I'M OKAY
—
Surprisingly at three thirty-seven in the morning the bar was starting to become less crowded. That also could be because it's Wednesday night and a lot of them surely have class or work later in the morning. Chuckling under my breath, I watch as two girls tried to support each other up as they stumbled across the floor to the front door.
Shaking my head, I went back to moving my hand in circles as I wiped the lacquered, brown wood counter clean from any spilled drinks and any other possible liquids. Lifting my head up, I roamed eyes around the dimly lit place once more, but stopped when they landed on certain someone.
There he sat with most definitely her. His arm around her waist like he used to hold me. He whispered something in her ear, as she sat on his lap, making her giggle. My heart that was slowly healing, shattered all over again. I could physically feel it, just like I could feel it the night when the girl had answered his phone; that night, few hours before the accident.
As I kept staring at the both of them, I could feel my mouth go dry. Swallowing the little bit of saliva that was left in my mouth, I didn't even feel the moment when I had let go of the towel in my hand. "I..." I trailed off. It felt like the walls were closing in on me. I was drowning. "I need to go to the bathroom," I announced to Brian in a rushed tone as I was already turning around, with one foot already in the back of the bar. I didn't even wait for Brian to answer as I was already inside the back and sprinting down the corridor, in the direction of where the employee bathrooms were.
Pushing the women's bathroom door open, I turned the lock and pressing my back against the door slid down until I was sitting down on the cold, tiled floor.
Against my will, a tear rolled down my cheek and another one followed after the first ones lead. Soon enough I was fully crying. Frantic banging and shouting came from the other side of the door, but I couldn't stand up. And I didn't want to. I just wanted to be left alone.
—
The cold floor was the total opposite to my skin that felt like it's on fire. But it felt good, it was a welcomed cold. I don't know how long I've been locked up in the bathroom, I was just thankful that the banging on the door had stopped.
Faintly I could hear the booming music coming from the front of the bar. And that was truly the only thing I was concentrating on at the moment. I felt numb all around, but mostly on the inside. If I could I would sleep for a decade, hibernate like a bear.
Finally pushing myself up from the floor, I got on my knees and placing my palms against the tiled floor I pushed myself to stand up for the first time in what felt like hours of me simply alternating between laying on the floor or simply sitting on it. My legs felt weak and wobbly. It felt as if I took a step forward, I would fall. And my ass felt numb and flat like a pancake.
Closing my eyes, I tried to steady my breathing and to gain back some strength. I can't let him break me again. I can't let him have this effect over me even when I was the one who left him. I just can't. I need to be stronger than this. I am stronger than this.
It doesn't even matter anymore that he cheated.
With a shaky hand, I reached out to unlock the bathroom door, the click echoing in the room. Pulling the door open, I stepped out with unsteady steps.
"Nicole!" my head snapped in the direction of the voice, Cece was standing up from a nearby chair she had been sitting on before. "What happened? Are you okay?" her eyebrows pulled in a frown as she looked me over.
Just like my body, my voice was just as shaky, "Y-Yeah, I'm okay." Looking past her, I furrowed my own brows, "I just feel a little sick, that's all." I lied because I simply refuse to tell the truth. Honestly there's nothing to even tell, what's done is done and I would just like to move on.
Looking at me with a worried look in her eyes, she placed her hands on both of my shoulders, "Why don't you take tomorrow off? I heard there's a stomach bug going around," she rambled on as we walked to the employees exit. "And if you feel like you need Friday off too, just call me or text me, yeah?"
Pulling my arms through the jacket, that Cece was holding out for me, I nodded my head, "Thanks, Cece."
"No worries," she smiled. "I just want my crew to be in the best shape. Can't really serve drinks when you wanna gag, huh?"
Letting out a low chuckle, I pulled the heavy door open ready to escape Cece's annoying presence. Mumbling a quiet "bye", I stepped out in the dark Thursday morning. A chilly breeze ran against my body as I walked over to my car, the smell of rain lingering in the air.
Getting inside the cold automobile, I placed the key in its rightful place and turning the engine on I turned the heat on full blast. However I didn't drive away right away, I sat there in my car as it roared below me in the dark parking lot. The headlights shone on the metal door that I had left through just moments again and I couldn't seem to pull my gaze away from the illuminated metal as I stared in one point, like in a trance.
How is it that without even looking at me, just simply being few feet away from me, he managed to shake my whole life?
