Love, Christina

Dear world,
Dear Simon,
I have probably written this about 12 times now. But I'll just get on with it.

I am just like you

I have a heart beating under my skin and a mouth that is breathing the same air.
But my situation is different. My time here on earth has been hell due to an illness that has affected me ever since I was a baby.

My emotions are intact,
I am not missing any limbs.
I don't have an extra toe or hand,
But I am treated differently.
Like an alien or some type of animal in the zoo...

Although, to me, there is nothing that makes me unique,
But to others, it's what makes me unloveable.

The tired look in my eyes
So sunken in and dark.
It makes me different
I stand out to people.
I get that " look " everywhere I go, people sympathizing me and my situation.

We tend to place value by deciding what the default is, thereby placing anything else in a category of other. Trying to meet the standards of other people will always be impossible. It will always be impossible for me to be a normal teenager.

I've been scared to love
I had a boyfriend, I felt what I thought was "love" for almost 2 years.
I've been scared to love
Because I'm scared of getting heartbroken again. Not only did I lose my boyfriend, but after that I lost many of my childhood best friends.
It was just a circle of  pain.
•
I've had to live in the hospital for long portions of my life, around hospital staff rather than kids my age. My life is different than most teens, high school isn't " my kingdom " I don't have a giant group message with all my friends, I have no idea how to do contour or how to act at a party.

I believe what Simon is trying to say is that EVERY human-being deserves to feel loved and be respected, its a natural thing.
Having basic human decency.
•
The world knows about cancer, it knows about HIV, but they don't care about other illnesses.

This is me talking about my pain journey I know as a fact that someday my pain will tell the world just who I am. Because I know that when I die, I want the world and all of my doctors to remember me.
I am someone who
•Has had to fight ever since she was 11 months old.
•Is a regular kid like you and everyone else, my body is just not as functional.
• The desire to have a healthy body is very normal.
I am someone who
•Deserves love and should feel worthy of that love.

I am not part of the LGBT community, but I do know what it's like to want love even when you're too sick to function. It's basic human nature to want someone to hold and cherish.

• Thank you for reading!
Love, @I_Can_Go_On aka Christina🎗