The Director Is Always Right | Titanic Sinclair

>>3<<

I remember the threats and comments we'd get.

"You don't deserve to live."

"What's the purpose of what you do?"

"You don't deserve what you have you spoiled crack heads."

"I hope you burn in a fire."

That hurt her a lot.

I can't ever stop thinking of everything she ran away from.

Some of it still follows me.

None of that stuff bothers me.

It never did, though.

It never will.

I'm so used to it by now.

There's no time to care about that.

Those are the things that oppose to everything you work for.

You work for fame.

If you really want these videos to portray pop culture, you have to live pop culture.

You have to be pop culture.

So it will be and feel more real.

Reality feels painful and dry sometimes.

Like when you are yelling so loud it hurts. And you try to hit a high note and you strain your voice.

But people appreciate your high note. They are amazed at how you could do it.

Because they can't.

And when you can do it, you're higher than them.

That's why people are famous.

Because they're higher than the others, no matter how much they stress it that they're not.

They are.

***

"I wonder if infinity will be the attachment to the future. What is Poppy's future? What happens to people like Poppy?"

She had no emotion on her face.

Because there was no emotion.

She wasn't even trying.

He had drained her of everything she had.

He was just some guy who told her what to do anymore.

She wasn't enjoying this like she had hoped.

And really, he wasn't either.

He was dreading it.

They were both two miserable and distant people.

Feeling like this was their life.

And they didn't like it.

They could do something.

He could do something.

He could start stopping.

He so desperately wanted to.

But his life would be worse.

He wouldn't feel loved.

But now he just feels dry.

So either way, there was no way out.

"Maybe Poppy's future is now. Maybe infinity is the future."

That's what he had wished the future was.

But for some obscure reason, he didn't want that to be his definite future. Simply because he didn't want to hurt her.

Because she knew she loved him.

She was just so tired.

And aggravated.

And sad.

Just as he was.

Because he loved her, too.

But he hated his life.

But sometimes he felt like she was his life. His only reason to stay in on this little game.

This joke.

Life is just a big joke.

And the whole world is in on it.

There's nothing funny about that joke anymore.

Because the joke feels natural.

Like an idiom people see and use so much that they wouldn't be able to tell if it was an idiom.

So this joke called life is overused.

This joke is overrated.

But she made this joke funny in a way.

And he liked to laugh.

As much as he never did.

He never laughed or smiled.

Because there was no reason to.

Until she realizes he makes the joke funny, too.

Maybe if he just hadn't cared, then life wouldn't hurt as much. It wouldn't feel like when he got up he had to take a big 6 hour test.

It wouldn't feel like he had to rewrite the same words everyday.

He wouldn't feel like he was being eaten away by his own joke.

And the joke is the only way to stay alive.