Some things, like shoelaces, TV shows, and afternoon coffee, are easy and repetitive, rolling, rolling. It all blends together over time, until there is no time, just one mass of today and yesterday, never tomorrow, and by then you've forgotten your name and where your mother went to school. Radios drone on but all you hear is noise and feedback, the steam from hot showers isn't as comforting as it used to be.
That's when you begin to melt into nothing, you hide under blankets and for days cease to exist. It's easy to disappear within yourself. It's even easier to get trapped beneath your skin, to have no chance of resurfacing on your own. By now, you're locked so deeply into this state of mind that you don't even notice that your fingertips are being chewed off and that your lips are bleeding.
But then there's a person and it's like the water has left your lungs completely, like your legs can carry your weight again, and it's a lot to take in. Someone you can trust, in a world of chipped souls and black powder burns. The problem is now that you know you're in love, you over think, you pace, and grasp pencils tightly whilst trying to express the essence of this feeling in your throat. You need help; you need to know how to say it all.
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My book of poetry expressing how to express.
Enjoy.
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