Tell me you love me

Chapter 17

Just a short chapter here guys, hopefully I should have a good one up soon when holidays start :)

Chapter 17

The second I sat in the driver’s seat I glanced at the empty passenger side next to me, then to my two giggling sisters in the back.

Jacob was walking towards my little car and my scrambling thoughts begged him to sit in the front seat. But it was a long shot, especially because of my sisters batting their eyelashes at him.

He looked at me first and grinned at my desperate expression, before strutting towards the back door. Of course, he’d picked the two lovesick girls to sit next to, instead of me, who was in a particular bad mood. I really should have seen it coming.

The door slammed behind me and Jacob squeezed in next to Jessica. He gave her a smile and she sighed happily.

I couldn’t help roll my eyes at that. She wasn’t in love. She’s too young to even know what love is.

I gritted my teeth, as angry thoughts began to form in my head. Love wasn’t rainbows and chocolates. It’s heartbreak and sadness, putting all your trust in someone and having them throw your feelings away, without a second glance.

Well you’re a bundle of joy today.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel in anger, even though I knew I was being petty.

It was the sound of a car door opening beside me that brought me out of the nightmare in my head, instead throwing me into the nightmare, which was reality.

Nate sat down in the seat next to me and I watched him close the door out of the corner of my eye.

He didn’t even look at me, instead stared out the window, as if he’d found something interesting.

I started up the engine and pulled out of the driveway with a large jolt, making the girls scream in the back.

“Watch it Amy!” Jacob sounded shocked. “I kinda want to make it there in one piece”

My only answer was to put my foot down on the accelerator and head down our neighbor hood street, at a speed that might have been considered dangerous. But I was seeing red.

“Slow down”

My heard turned to Nate who was staring at me intently, with a fierce expression. Had he just told me to slow down? Who does he think he is?

“I’m driving” I replied tartly, before looking back at the road.

A yellow light was staring at me a few hundred metres away, but I barely registered it, to angry with Nate.

Does he think that I don’t know how to drive? Or maybe he’s just making my life harder. Maybe he thinks it’s still his responsibility to take care of me. But he lost that when he decided to ditch me for his blonde idiot of a girlfriend.

I was almost at the yellow light when it suddenly switched to red. The bright colour dragged me away from my anger and I slammed my foot down on the brakes.

The car jarred forward violently and my head hit the steering wheel with a thud, sending painful shockwaves through my skull. Jessica screamed and I could faintly hear Jacob trying to calm her down, while swearing under his breath.

But I couldn’t see properly, in fact my vision was blurred so much I could barely recognize my surroundings. My hearing also seemed to be going, only picking up some words.

“Amy- out- hear-AMY!” Nate’s voice was yelling in my ear but I couldn’t understand what he was saying, let alone know what he wanted me to do.

What was happening? Had I hit my head too hard and gotten a concussion? Cars were honking behind me as I could faintly make out a light turning green.

Someone grabbed my arm with a tight grip and I was suddenly being moved around, yet the disorientation kicked in and I could barely tell which way was up and which way was down.

Then the car was moving again and this made my head hurt even more. How could we be driving when I’m in the driver’s seat?

Again someone was gripping my shoulder, yet this time shaking it vigorously. I moaned as the shaking made my hurt even more.

Slowly shapes started to come back to me. And noises too.

“Amy? Amy come on! Can you hear me?” Was that Jacob? I wasn’t sure. I tried to get my mouth to work, but all I could do was moan.

I blinked my eyes rapidly, trying to get my vision back. I quickly realized I was in the passenger seat and that Nate was driving.

Well at least it looked like he was trying to, since he seemed preoccupied in looking over at me. The light bulb went off in my head. He must have moved me! Oh this made sense now!

And I turned slowly to face Jacob, who was the one shaking my arm, trying to get me awake.

His face slackened with relief when he noticed I was alright.

I rubbed the front of my head, which was still aching. “Ow…”

Nate heard my quiet groan and looked at me. I’d expected his expression to be filled with concern and sadness over whether or not I was ok.

I was dead wrong.

“What the hell were you thinking? Were you trying to get us killed?!” He exclaimed angrily, flames leaping in his eyes.

A small gasp escaped my lips at his outburst. “I…it was an accident…I didn’t-“

He looked back at the road seething with rage. “You never think Amy! Why not focus on reality for a change!”

I fell silent and a strangled cough escaped me, my chest contorting trying to let out a sob. But I wouldn’t let it. I was not going to cry over my stupid ex friend yelling at me.

I warm hand grasped my empty one and I looked back at Jacob who was frowning at his brother.

“It was just an accident Amy” He looked away from Nate to me. “Is your head ok?”

A smile played at my lips and I gave a small nod. It was strange that I had lost my trust and comfort in Nate, and then found it in his younger brother.

For the rest of the car trip everyone remained quiet. I was too busy worrying about what had happened to try start a conversation. Nate was right. I was being reckless, I could’ve crashed the car and then…

I couldn’t imagine being responsible for anyone getting hurt. Even Nate. The fact that he could hurt me with words was a clear indicator that I still cared about him. As much as I hated it. But maybe he was truly right. Saying I never think.

I pushed Hannah over. Had I thought about that? No…but that was only one time…

But then when I put myself in-between Jacob and that boy. But that was a good thing right? I was protecting him.

And just then at the lights. I wasn’t thinking I had to slow down. I wasn’t in reality… I could’ve hurt everyone.

My eye began to water, trying to come to the terms that I brought this all on myself. Maybe that was why Nate didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. Because I was too reckless.

He’s a hypocrite though, was he thinking when he pushed you out of that car’s way at the airport?

This pulled me up. He was reckless there! So how could he say that I never think when he does it himself!

My sadness was quickly replaced with anger and frustration. It seemed to be a cycle I was stuck in. I was sad then angry, then sad, and then angry. Never being able to escape.