The Game Called Life (CANCELLED)

Chapter Five

It's been a week, and we've all settled to our usual routine. Except me. Get on bus, get off bus into school, go to homeroom, get all my books, and sit down silently at my desk, because there's no one to talk to like the other classmates anymore. All my friends have been scattered, finding lives that don't include this school, probably not guessing one tall, black haired girl sitting at her desk is fighting the urge not to cry, making sure no one saw her soul shattering into a million tiny pieces. Once that's over, first period bell rings and we all go through the day, me personally praying the day goes by fast. After a while of this routine, I began noticing things more sharply then usual while, sitting at my desk silently in the mornings.

Bryan sat in front of me, and he was the most popular boy in our class. Being rich AF, extremely good at sports, and having a disdainful manner for almost everything, made him easily reach his place as leader for the "cool" boys. He never spoke to me or any of the other girls except for a few. I've never understood why fully, and eventually came to the guess he was just shy. But nothing ever, EVER, made me want to become Bryan's friend. He made fun of everything and everyone, even his followers/"friends". Of course, them being complete brainwashed idiots, always laughed and praised him more then ever. I could almost see the happiness radiating off them brightly whenever they earned something from Bryan, even something as small as a smirk at a joke they made. Bryan had brown hair, brown eyes, and a big, no HUGE, ego. There was a rumor spreading around the girls that he was so stupid he thought every girl had a crush on him.

Every morning, he came in, talking to his friends, unpacked talking to his friends, and sat down talking to his friends. It was like his followers couldn't leave him alone, even for a second, for fear he might think they don't like him anymore. It was annoying though, because then there would be a crowd next to my desk too, which I don't exactly like. Usually their talk were about 1. Phones, 2. Video Games, 3. Sports, or 4. Cars. Oh, and 5. Other People. What was most aggravating about them crowding near my desk though, is that I could hear everything they said. Including about others. I tried to block out their noise, but it would never work. I knew better then to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it. So every day I heard their disdainful remarks about our classmates, and it made me angry because I couldn't do anything to defend the people being made fun of. Seriously, if I did, they'd just target me to! Once I did clear my throat, and say loudly "I CAN HEAR YOU YOU KNOW." They had stopped talking and had stared at me, and I stared back, not breaking eye contact. "Oh, and it's also annoying that your crowding next to my desk. Think you can fan girl over your leader somewhere else?" I added, voice dripping with sarcasm. In the end the crowd moved, but that was the last time they did. And I heard some nasty things being said about me afterwards, but what could I do?

Besides Bryan, I also noticed other things. Like how the class really didn't get loud until 3 girls came in, my marked enemies. Well, not all of them were my enemies. But most of them. It was Grace, Nicole, and Phoebe. Grace and Nicole were identical twins, and both had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. The only way people could tell them apart were by their hairstyles, Grace keeping hers down and Nicole wearing hers in a ponytail with a bright headband. Phoebe were their best friend, and she was short with dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a tan skin. All of them were athletic, friends with the boys, and happy. Always. Something about that made me hate them, first a small envy growing into a twisting fiery hate. They had happiness. Happiness. I had wanted that for 4 years, and when it came it left to soon. Everyone liked them, and they always got their way. They were part of the major school clubs, popular, and favorites with all the teachers. Grace I didn't mind, she was cool. Sure, she was all those things, but for some reason I never envied her. She and I were friends, and Grace wasn't as crazy as her twin. Now, Nicole?.... No. She always spoke what was on her mind, hurting me more then once. Often when having lunch together, had she made remarks about my lunch. It was different from the others because it would usually be Indian, and she would always say "Ewww, what IS that?" "It looks terrible." "Are you sure you want to eat that? I mean, you can have some of my snacks instead...."  It hurt. Of course, I didn't say anything, only one time. I was tired and angry at her judging my food AGAIN, and when she went "Ewww" I finally snapped. I had said "Oh, I'm sorry that my food is insulting you because it's different. Would you like me to move? Is it that gross" Nicole hadn't known I was being sarcastic and had said "No, don't move, but it is that gross." To which I had screamed at her "I WAS BEING SARCASTIC YOU IDIOT. STOP MAKING FUN OF MY FOOD! DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I ENJOY YOU INSULTING ME? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'M NOT HUMAN? IT HURTS YOU IDIOT! SO JUST SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" After that, she acted hurt and offended, but I didn't care. She didn't know I didn't like her because I always acted polite and friendly to her. I mean, I got to at least have decency towards her, right? Actually, no one knew I didn't like her because I had never said anything bad about her. That type of person just wasn't me. Phoebe was exactly like Nicole, only bossier. 

So yea. 

After a while, I began writing in a notebook about everything happening at school during the mornings, to make it look like I wasn't a lonely loser. But it never helped. Something in me hurt. Badly. And I mean it literally hurt. It felt like... something breaking. It would be continuous, and whatever it did, it never stopped. I began texting Stressball, and I told her about the pain, asking her what she thought it meant. She had replied saying "That means you have the bad kind of depression. Like BAD. Wait... does that mean your suicidal?..."

I never answered her back.

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Ello guys! Sorry for making that HUGE paragraph up there! There was a lot of detail I wanted to squeeze in. Anyways, if you're enjoying this story, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEE follow me! I really want this story to get more popular, and raise awareness for depression. It sucks. Thank you SO MUCH for reading The Game Called Life, it really means a lot :D. So what do you think? Is Trin suicidal? Dun dun DUNNN. Stay tuned for the next chapter!

~SickAtSoul :P