Dear Liam (Liam Payne AU)

".....I can't live without you."

Here I lie, next to my best friend in the whole world. She's beautiful, she's always there for me and I will always be here for her.

"Hey Jessie?" I asked turning my head to her. "Yeah?" She said back still looking at the night sky and glowing lights that are stars.

"One day I won't be here, what will you do then?" I asked knowing the answer from asking the same question over and over again.

"You already know the answer Liam," she says rolling over on top of me and straddling my lap.

Her small hands moved her hair to one side of her head and landed on my chest.

"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it again."

She sighed and smiled, "it won't matter because I will wait until you return back to me." She leaned in and this is the moment I've waited for all my life.

Instead of what I assumed was a kiss it was not on the lips. Instead she gave me an Eskimo kiss which was rubbing our two noses together side by side.

Oh I would do anything to have her and to call her mine. "C'mon let's go inside, I must be heavy on top of you."

I smirked, "no, I like it when you're on top." Jessie hit my chest playfully and ran inside making me run after her.

Being her roommate and best friend had its perks. We always stayed up late and always had fun just being together. I just wish she would look at me the way I look at her...

"Now what do we do?" I asked following her into the kitchen. "I'm kinda hungry and I still have two slices of my birthday cake here, want a slice?" She asked bending over in the refrigerator.

"Sure, love. I'll grab some forks" I say doing exactly as I said I would do.

Jessie came back with the two plates and walked over to the couch were I was seated at. "Don't make a mess," she commanded, causing me to laugh because I know how much she hates messes.

"I know, I know. Don't worry Jess." I said taking a bite from the delicious cake I had baked myself for her. Three nights ago she turned 22 and I suggested that we went out to the club but she said she wanted to only stay in and watch movies. We did just that but I couldn't resist at least baking her cake.

"You always say that Liam, but really. I do worry. I worry about you." Jessie says taking a few more bite of the cake.

"Why would you worry about me?" I asked putting the almost finished plate on the coffee table. Jessie shrugged and looked forward, refusing to look at me in the eye. "I don't know it's just that... Every day I think about your question. I think about it all the time. I never want to lose you Liam. I can't lose you because if I did... I-I'd lose my mind. I can't live without you."

Her head turned to me and tears were in her eyes, "I just can't Liam. You should know that by now. We've been together for as long as I could remember and without you I would be so lost."

I watched Jessie bite her lip and stand up to throw away her paper plate and throw her fork in the sink. I copied her actions and continued to watch Jessie pace through the kitchen. She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed.

"I think I'm going to bed now," she says before words came out of my mouth. I was tired of just watching. I needed to make a choice. Let her go or try to make her stay. I want to make her realize that I love her more than anything in the world.

I went up to my room that unfortunately was right across from hers and took off my shirt. I could hear her singing a mash up of what I believe is "Let it go" and "Let her go".

"Let it go, let it go. You only need the light when it's burning low. Let it go, let it go. You only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Cuz here I stand and here I stay. Only know you love her when let her go," she sang.

I smiled while putting on my lougepants. She always had the best voice, she never accepted it, but she was amazing.

After brushing my teeth and throwing myself onto my bed. Her voice was the last thing I heard before falling into darkness.

"Liam how could you?" I hear above from me. "Huh?" "Liam, why did you leave me?" "Jessie?" "You left me, remember? You always planned this, asking me every single day what I would do if you left." "No Jess it's not like that. I love you, please." "You love me?" "Yes, I do. I always have." "Well then, that must hurt." I cocked my head to the right, not understanding.

"Because I will never love you back, not after this." "Jessie please I'm begging you to not give up on me." She just scoffed at me, "you have no one to blame but yourself," she snapped walking away from me.

I called after her and tried to catch up to her but I couldn't. The more I came closer to her, the more she was farther away.

"Jessie! Jessie! Jessie!" I called over and over again. "Jessie!" I said once more snapping my eyes open and jumping out of my bed.

My heart was beating a thousand times a minute. There was sweat over all of my upper body. I sighed and laid back down wiping away the sweat and looking at the ceiling.

It's the same nightmare I have every time I go to sleep upset. I can't keep doing this. It's killing me.

I got out of bed and quickly made my way to Jessie's room. I opened the door and slowly went towards her bed. "J-Jess?" I could see her body from the moon shining through her window. I nudged her shoulder a bit and watched her move over onto her back. Her chest rose up and down and I swear I heard her say my name.

"Jessie?" I said once more before she woke up. "What are you doing here? Go back to bed," she said opening then closing her eyes again.

"Can I sleep here tonight?" I asked standing above her making her sigh. "Fine," Jessie says before scooting to the other side. "Thanks Jess," I said climbing into the bed and under the sheets with her.

"Are you cold?" I asked looking at her closed eyelids. She mumbled a yes before moving towards me. I imminently put my left arm underneath her waist and pulled her close to my chest. I felt Jessie's hot breath on my neck and it sent goose bumps all over my body. "You're so warm," she mumbled again my skin.

"Liam?"

"Yes love?"

"You were having a nightmare again weren't you?" Jessie asked me looking up and searched my eyes. Although we parted I still held her close to me, not wanting to ever let go. "Yeah, it's no big deal," I shrugged, "just go to sleep love."

"No, Li talk to me about it." Jessie said, now she wasn't so sleepy. "Please, Jess. I don't want to talk about it right now."

She sighed for what seemed like all she could do for me.

"Okay, but the next time this happens you're telling me what you dream about. And I mean it Liam, the very next time, you're telling me." I laughed, "Then I'm never going to sleep again."

"Goodnight Liam," she whispered before snuggling back onto me. "Goodnight, beautiful."