I picked up my gun and raised it up to my head. I closed my eyes and started to squeeze. A tear rolls down my cheek. I'm a second away from doing it.
Buzz buzz.
I opened my eyes and lowered my gun. Why did I have to be so nosy. I unlocked my phone. It's her again. What's the odds. Second time a mere message from her stopped me from doing something stupid.
I clip my gun back to where it belongs. Under the table. I don't open the message. I just looked at it. I can't let her know what just happened. I have to be strong. I have to keep pushing forward. I have to win this fight. I have to set a good example.
I just sat there. Looking at my blood stained hands.
I lifted my heavy body from the uncomfortable chair. My legs, it burns. I walk out my room slowly. I look to my left. My dads room is closed. I walk down the hallway and peeked around the corner. My mom's sleeping on the couch. I turn around and head towards the bathroom. I open the tap slowly so no one can hear me cleanse myself. I need to clean my cuts aswel. That or an infection. I close the bathroom door. I unhooked the shower head. I undressed myself and sat down in the bathtub with my legs extended.
As the water hit my legs, it burned. Almost slipping out a scream. I clenched my fists in agony. Grinding my teeth. The water turn pail red as it rivers down my legs and towards the drain.
I clean up my mess and dry myself. Got dressed and head to bed again.
I just lay there. Stairring at nothing but the empty darkness. Floating away. Just floating. Everlasting waste. Just floating through time towards my death. A waste of resources. A waste of a soul. A broken soul. Just floating away. Thinking to itself. "Maybe I should just... stop."
I look over to my right. The dolphin shaped clock my gran bought me before she passed away. I loved dolphins when I was younger.
It's 5:49 and I have to be up in 10 minutes to get ready for school. Fuck me.
